[2 blank pages]
THE
DEFICIT
MADE
FLESH
[unnumbered page]
BY
THE SAME
AUTHOR
Under the Hill
A completion of Aubrey Beardsley’s unfinished romantic novel in its original form.
[unnumbered page]
Indian File Books: 9
THE
DEFICIT
MADE
FLESH
JOHN GLASSCO
1958
McCLELLAND& STEWART LIMITED
TORONTO
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TO MY MOTHER
Beatrice M. Glassco
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Grateful acknowledgement is made to the editors of The Canadian Forum and The Fiddlehead for permission to republish several of the poems appearing in this volume. [unnumbered page]
CONTENTS
PAGE |
|
The Rural Mail |
11 |
Stud Groom |
13 |
Noyade: 1942 |
16 |
Soldier’s Settlement |
18 |
The Entailed Farm |
19 |
“Blighty” |
22 |
Gentleman’s Farm |
23 |
Deserted Buildings under Sheffor Mountain |
27 |
The Brill Road |
29 |
A Devotion |
31 |
Villanelle |
33 |
The Web |
34 |
The Burden of Junk |
36 |
Second Sunday after Trinity |
39 |
The Cardinal’s Dog |
40 |
Town Council Meeting |
41 |
A Ballad of the Death of Thomas Pepys, Tailor |
43 |
The White Mansion |
47 |
The Warrior |
49 |
Jogging Track |
50 |
Thomas à Kempis |
51 |
Utrillo’s World I |
52 |
Utrillo’s World II |
53 |
[unnumbered page] | |
Hail and Farewell |
54 |
Didactic |
57 |
The Whole Hog |
59 |
Shake Dancer |
62 |
An Old Faun |
63 |
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THE
DEFICIT
MADE
FLESH
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THE
RURAL
MAIL
These are the green paths trodden by patience. I hang on the valley’s lip, a bird’s eye viewing All that opposes to makers and masters of nations Only its fierce mistrust of the word,― To the smashes records for gobbling and spewing, Cows that exist in a slow-motion world. From here is man on man’s estate of nature, Farmer on farm, the savage civilised Into the image of his God the weather― Only another anarchist, foiled highflyer Whose years have grown as a minute in his eyes, Whose grin reveals a vision of barbed wire: Her birth evokes pleasure and a reflective pity, Marriage or mating, much of the voyeur, Sickness, an interest and some hope of booty, And death strikes like an oddly barked command, Confounding with its Easy, its As you were, His stiff-kneed generation unused to bend. I sense his hours marked by my two-wheeled cart Descending the stony hill: as I stop by his box The ring of tin as the Knowlton News goes in Is a day’s knell,―and the countryside contracts For an instant to the head of a pin; Or he comes with a money-order, or to chat. [page 11] Getting good money, and money is always good, We keep the high standards in the front parlour Like a wedding-cake or a motto carved in wood, The falling-out of enemies makes no friends. “Far as I’m concerned, the war can go on forever!” A man can make a dollar, with hens. Scraping the crumbling roadbed of this strife With rotten fenceposts and old mortgages (No way of living, but a mode of life), How sift from death and waste three grains of duty, O thoughts that start from scratch and end in a dream Of graveyards minding their own business? But the heart accepts it all, this honest air Lapped in green valleys where accidents will happen! Where the bull, the buzz-saw and the balky mare Are the chosen fingers of God for a farmer’s sins, Like the axe for his woods, and his calves and chicks and children Destined for slaughter in the course of things. [page 12]
STUD
GROOM
Your boy’s-ambition was to be a Horseman, Some days to hear tell or overhear your name Linked with that word. This was the foreseen Reward for the five years in the dealer’s stable, For strewing your childhood nightly under his horses’ feet And bearing it out at sun-up on a shovel, When you met all claims with waiver and deferment, And learned the habit of not coming to grips With any unhaltered thing that’s not dependent On a boy’s will like a pious man on God’s, Till language lapsed back into clucks and chips Hisses and heeyahs, steady-babes, be-goods. And now it has all come true! and the mountains spill Your world of cousins, a chorus of witnesses: Lost Nation, Bolton Centre and Pigeon Hill Acclaim you who combine, deny and defer With straps and stalls the heats and the rampancies, And the act that’s blessed with a bucket of cold water. [page 13] Well, there is the World, in the attitude of approval, Hands in its pockets, hat over its eyes, Ignorant, cunning suave and noncommittal, The ape of knowledge....Say, through what injustice Has it gained the bounty, by what crazy process Those eyes fell heir to your vision of success? For the goal has changed.―It’s rather to have made Of welcoming music of nickers and whinnies At feeding time, the brightness of an eye Fixed on a bucket, the fine restraint of a hoof Raised and held in a poised meaningless menace, To have made, of these, assurances of love, And of the denial of all loving contact When the ears flatten, the eye rolls white, The whirring alarm that keeps the dream intact For the poet and pervert too, whose spasm or nightmare Makes, with the same clean decision of a bite, Divorce between possession and desire. For “one woman leads to another, like one war Leads to another,” and the fever has no end Till passion turns―from the bright or bloody star, From the bitter triumph over a stranger’s body, To something between a deity and a friend, To a service halting between cult and hobby, [page 14] And nothing is left for the family or the nation But a genial curse, and silence. It may be You are the type of figures long out of fashion, The Unknown Soldier and the Forgotten Man, Whom the rest might envy, now, their anonymity And the face they were at least left alone; And who might have said, like you, to a pair Of nags looking over a sagging roadside fence, Good morning, girls! O greeting washed in air, O simple insistence to affirm the Horse, While the Loans and bomb-loads are hitting new highs And youth is deducted at the source. For “Horseman, what of the future?” is a question Without a meaning: there is always another race, Another show, the unquenchable expectation Of ribbons, the easy applause like a summer storm, And the thrill, like love, of being in first place For an instant that lasts forever, and does no harm Except to the altar-fated passion it robs, The children it cheats of their uniforms and wars, And the fathomless future of the underdog It negates―shrugs off like the fate of a foundered mare― As it sparks the impenetrable lives, like yours Whose year revolves around the country fair. [page 15]
NOYADE
1942
The taxi headlights sweep the palings And the horn summons you. Goodbye. Reassured-gaiters-and-battledress Clumps down the steps. The car door slams. ―See how the pattern of paired lives Has turned in the end to a series of partings! Well you are gone and there’s only God, The last discovery―for either one: Tonight in your set that screams through darkness, And here, in the bed too wide, too empty, Another assault of bleeding hands On the citadel of His-will-be-done.... But tomorrow, when the daylight hurts And penetrates, when the khaki mud Poured round you in the recurrent hour of waking Dries, cakes, hardens into stone, until The stone grows inward and you become A monument with a dwindling core of blood, And far away here, when the daylit frame Of room and field wavers for eyes That find you and feel you not at all, And the heart made to tremble at shadows Weaves round itself a solitude Vaster than space, to suffocate its cries,― [page 16] What wonder then that love and faith Turn coward ere these days are ended? The drowning stony lover grasp At straws of pleasure, the weak faithful Prove constant only to despair? So reveries flower in fierce air Where the pure and tender thoughts―that take Too many tears to keep alive― Are stifled, and see: the age’s will is done! A little sacrilege and murder Wreaked on the private effigies Of bodies joined and put asunder. O love that think that it could always Suffer all things, live on the crust Of letters and orgiastic leaves! Too soon the pointed bones appear Of your beginning and your end In this long summer of malison and lust. [page 17]
SOLDIER’S
SETTLEMENT
Writing all your memories for the future Out of this hour and this warm wind― Hands clasped tight, eyes gazing over The valley of autumn choked with sun, Down and over the stony pasture, The trickle of road that bounds your luck, And forty meadows and forty farmers Hanging over the rich man’s lake. Keep at your back, as you stand together, The wind-dwarfed trees and the rubble fence: Let no auguries of disaster Invade this hour, this innocence, No hint of the war with time and weather, Or the hope that will turn in twenty years To the comfort of saying to one another, It could have been worse,― But stand for an instant and fix forever The battered mail-box, the shallow stream, In a frame where all is gold and azure And the stony pasture, plinth of a dream. [page 18]
THE
ENTAILED
FARM
A footpath would have been enough. The muddy mile of side-road has no purpose Save as it serves for others to link up Crossroads marked on the map with a nameless cross By way of these choked and heartless fields of paintbrush And the mute, sealed house, Where the spring’s tooth, stripping shingles, scaling Beam and clapboard, probes for the rot below Porch and pediment and blind bow-window, And the wooden trunk with the coloured cardboard lining Lies where it fell when the wall of the flying wing Fell down ten years ago; Where the stone wall is a haven for snake and squirrel, The steepled dovecote for phoebe and willow-wren, And the falling field-gates, triggered by an earthen swell, Open on a wild where nothing is raised or penned, On rusty acres of witch-grass and wild sorrel Where the field-birds cry and contend. [page 19] You, tourist, salesman, family out for a picnic, Who saw the bearded man that walked like a bear, His pair of water-pails slung from a wooden neckyoke, Slipping in by the woodshed,―Come away, That naked door is proof against all knocking! Standing and knocking there, You might as well expect time’s gate to open On the living past, the garden bloom again, The house stand upright, hay-barn’s swayback coping Stiffen, and see as in a fretted frame Men in the meadow and a small boy whooping The red oxen down that orchard lane, Or revive the slow strong greed of the coffined farmer Who cleared, stumped, fenced, rotating sinew and sweat, Beating the ploughshare into an honest dollar, Who living and dying planned to cheat time’s night Through the same white-bearded boy,―who is hiding somewhere Now, till you’re out of sight, [page 20] And have left him alone: alone with the grief or anger Or whatever it is that flickers but will not die In the dull brain of the victim turned avenger, At war with a shadow, in flight from passers-by, From us,―who are free from all but the hint of attainder Who can meet a stranger’s eye With a good face, can answer a question, give a reason, For whom the world’s fields and fences stand up plain, Nor dazzle in sunlight or crumble behind the rain: From us, with our hearts but lightly tinged with poison, Who composed our quarrel early and in good season Buried the hatchet in our father’s brain. [page 21]
“BLIGHTY”
The first and charitable snow has gone, And earth, more ghostly since it turned to rain, Greys under grey: by the main railway line Your winter thoughts take on a darker tone As coal and cinders wear the hue of iron. See by the tracks, where a sodden shingled rood Droops on a worn façade, a wilting visor Over dead window-panes and the lettered board Where exultation, curled into one word, Still celebrates a half-forgotten war― And in the square the dripping John Canuck In belted tunic, tin hat and puttees Still puts his best foot forward; on his back The Angel perches, pointing overseas... What are these tears, what images are these Blown from the monuments of a world that died! Today some meaning, pithless and outgrown, So mocks the slaughtered soldier marching on That all your sorrow finds a voice where pride Records the wound that brought a veteran home. [page 22]
GENTLEMAN’S
FARM
Ten miles from anywhere eighty years and more, Where the frozen roadstones grind iron shoes and tires And the timberwood’s last stand Lives only in brushwood and long memories,―see, The new-peeled posts are marching, the taut wires Sing to the naked land, Sing to the valley of slash and beaver-meadow, The stone-pocked fields and bog-born stunted alders And the black hills rising sheer As mountains of iron and sand round the Genie’s castle (The age-old view of eyes that each November Look back on a wasted year) That things are humming, that even here at last The lights are going on, the wheels going round As the wasteland fulfills The singular purpose, powered and glorified Of the weekday absentee whose will has broken Between these barren hills, [page 23] And where the regional serf, time out of mind, Morning and evening, blind with sweat and fury, Hollaed with his shaggy tyke After the peaked-arse cows in the hummocky pasture Till they buckjumped to the dislocated barn, Their slack bags black with muck, The silos rise and the cupolas of chrome, Minarets of the mosque, the milkwhite temple Gleaming below the hill,― And look, by the mailbox winks the coloured legend, Hillsview Farm, the Home of Reg’d Holsteins Stamped on a plaque of steel. What passion is this? What fancy fed with tractors, Engines and rancho-fence and palisades? Not here, at least, Has the urban dream flowered in a homing impulse Towards the inane, imagined verities In the soil, the dung, the teats,― Things of an island whose longed-after earth The city Columbus, falling on his knees, Kisses and calls it Saviour, Making his garden where he can, his plea Against the unreal tenures which enrage A street-begotten fever― [page 24] No, this is a dream-barn, a body of wood and iron Figuring forth on the mind’s wilderness, With wealth for an ally, The structural mania of the human heart,― Whose buildings rise in a kinder soil than this, And beneath an inward eye Where all goes well and the pioneer has profit, Where the titan’s work subserves as in a dream The all too fictive goal, And the end is perfect beauty, the blessed vision, The working out of a man’s reverie Of his own memorial! But here, while the eternal mountains stand, Immortal stones come up beneath the plough, This valley’s sun and rain Score harshly and the bitter autumnal crop, Scratched out with a hoe or shovelled by machines, Is still the same: O forefixed harvest of man’s reverie driven Into the light of day and life of men, You bring the same revenge On the impresarios of all sacred sweetness, Whose eyes shall wake to witness, spring by spring, The sad and stealing change, [page 25] Hope battered into habit, and a habit Running to weariness,―the proof and process Of powers which must equate Farmer and Gentleman through their monuments, Till time’s mathematic of indifference Confound these, to create Not the bare living nor the orgulous legend, (Improbably flowers from seed of sweat or treasure) But what’s more tenuous still, A feast for the idler and the ragamuffin, A more conspicuous waste of all endeavour That has had its will― A common loveliness!―Look backward now, As we breast the rubbly hill to the rotting sawmill, Back to the shining roof That parries the pale farflung November sunlight On lightning rods and the stammering weathervane Of a gilded calf: See that the wreck of all things made with hands Being fixed and certain, as all flesh is grass, The grandiose design Must marry the ragged matter, and of the vision Nothing endure that does not gain through ruin The right, the wavering line. [page 26]
DESERTED
BUILDINGS
UNDER
SHEFFORD MOUNTAIN
These native angles of decay In sheds and barns whose broken wings Lie here half fallen in the way Of headstones amid uncut hay― Why do I love you, ragged things? What grace, unknown to any art, What beauty frailer than a mood Awake in me their counterpart? What correspondence of a heart That loves the failing attitude? Here where I grasp the certain fate Of all man’s work in wood and stone, And con the lesson of the straight That shall be crooked soon or late And crumble into forms alone, Some troubled joy that’s half despair Ascends within me like a breath: I see these silent ruins wear The speaking look, the sleeping air Of features newly cast in death, [page 27] Dead faces where we strive to see The signature of something tossed Between design and destiny, Between God and absurdity, Till, harrowing up a new-made ghost, We half embrace the wavering form, And half conceive the wandering sense Of some imagined part kept warm And salvaged from the passing storm Of time’s insulting accidents. So I, assailed by the blind love That meets me in this silent place, Left open arms: Is it enough That restless things can cease to move And leave a ruin wreathed in grace, Or is this wreck of strut and span No more than solace for the creed Of progress and its emmet plan, Dark houses that are void of man, Dull meadows that have gone to seed? [page 28]
THE
BRILL
ROAD
Skeletons and scarecrows, buoys for the sailor of snow, The broomhead sticks of brush tell where it goes Straight into a white screaming sky Of tons of a snowblind wind scouring like sand The walls of the last valley-house in the half-light, Where its lap would be if the mountain were a man. And the mare looks back: are we going upwards, master? Yes, we follow the blinding years, my darling, Into the sweeping, swallowing wind, Into the gape of all and the loss of the person Driving his birthright deathward in a trance Over the mountain’s swollen Jovian brow, Like a mind grappling with its own betrayal, Thoughts thinning out, their basis crumbling, Rising, rising ever into more breathless air And a frailer tenure, while the wind blows, The hills darken, and this heaven-riving road thrown Like a noosed lifeline to five worthless farms Peters out under the snow. [page 29] The road is a trick, like every form of life, A signal into the dark impartial storm (The leveller of land, the old mound-maker Smoother of great and small): though the road is wrong Always, and leads upwards forever To impossible heights, into the boiling snow, There is no turning back; but the road is a trap. This is the involvement that we never sought. How should we know its conditions, terms Determined by the swollen alien brow? Only we do the mountain’s bidding, while the storm Beats in our eyes, exhausts our servants, Tearing the robe from knee and shoulder, Making a terrible half-light of our day. And from this day we drive into a trap, Seeking the mountain, the five worthless farms. Do we move to a screaming music, is that all? What is this orchestra of fear? Absurd Are the equations for us and our servants Madly seeking the other side of the mountain. Does it even exist, that quiet road Snow-pleached between the laden, bending trees Where the small, fat birds will be flitting and feeding, Where the wind is muffled and we move at peace? [page 30]
A
DEVOTION
Well, I shall kneel, that the whole world can say Here is desire, too, that has come to pray. The poles of pleasure in our divided dust Meet often in their own tropics, lust and lust, Devotion and devotion, but to join Either to other is this way or mine; Here to confound the order that’s been planned In man’s imagined globe, the seas and land Hurry together, make fire from beneath Burst on his Arctic, and in the rotten teeth Of all his moralist geographers Hurl nature in his embrace, and he in hers. ―Now when my mouth, that holds my heart, has become An infinite reverence’s ciborium, Now, when the surcharged spiritual part Exhales its burden―marvel, O marvel at The joining, the economy of love That turns this pious breath, this gesture of My extreme adoration to a kiss, As if it were all that could be made of this! Soon, soon begins the long intense journey, But ere we embark, and ere thou shalt―O stay!― Translate thy vision, seeing through closed eyes The ideal forms of earthly ecstasies; Ere thou’rt become all sensible, and I Am grown a very incubus thereby, Let us hang, as the waves seem to do, An instant in the arrest of what we travel to. [page 31] See, I’d not slip from worshipper into man A space yet, but remain as I began Give my lips holiday from the work of words, A Sabbath of silence, drifting pleasurewards, And let my spirit, as my knees do, bow Before this cloven idol―an altar now As the sweet speechless misremembered year Returns in noonlight―hunger and rage and fear Cancelled forever―and as there bloom in me, On the bare branches of my wintry tree, Like mistletoe run wild, the devotee, The lover and the child. [page 32]
VILLANELLE
My love and yours must be enjoyed alone: My sleeping sister and infernal twin, I know your body better than my own. Only the natural conscience of the bone Protests the sadness of the dream wherein My love and yours must be enjoyed alone; But the body has reasons to the soul unknown: The soul of another is dark, said Augustine; I know your body better than my own. You that know everything that can be known, Tell me through what punishment of what sin My love and yours must be enjoyed alone? Why has the darkness and the distance grown, Why do we fear to let the stranger in? ―I know your body better than my own, I know the lamp is out, the bird has flown... To find that end where other loves begin My love and yours must be enjoyed alone: I know your body better than my own. [page 33]
THE WEB
Fronting the sea that hungers for my man, Bending my slanting eyes on the grey-gold web, Here am I happy: what joy have other women Like to my joy? what perfectness of pleasure? Now it is mine, the part of a very goddess As I weave and unweave the gleaming colours, my triumph, In the face of the suitors and a son’s availing anger! I Penelope, fronting the sea and the birds flying, Stir the discord, see the broil of men. And O the lovely broil, the ruin, my pleasure, The marvellous stir and strife of the suitors And the shame of the house they turn to a jangling brothel! Turn, desire and greed, to your reeling folly, As I fool now one, now the other, flaunting the web, And lie alone in the bed he hewed from the olive! Only Athene I fear, and a bird flying left― Only the piercing glance, and the omen. She, she alone, a goddess, sees my heart. [page 34] My son is locked from my heart: like his lickpenny father He counts the brown beeves, the yellow wine-jars. He is cunning, but not with his father’s seer-sight, And wise, but not with his mother’s wisdom, Wisdom learned from the weight of a liar’s shoulders In the bed he hewed, a thief and a liar always. Does Athene see it, the grey-eyed glance Pierce to my pleasure? No, I trust the sea! Zeus, keep him upon the hungry sea forever As I bend my eyes again on the sea and the grey-gold web, On the sign of all things, my endless pleasure, A woman’s triumph, the gleaming tissue of discord Woven of the broil of men and the shame of a house Turned to a brothel, a place of reeling folly, Waste of substance, man’s unavailing anger― All, all is in my web. What joy have other women Like to this joy of a woman sovereign and laughing? Only Athene I fear, and the bird flying left. [page 35]
THE BURDEN
OF
JUNK
April again, and its message unvaried, the same old impromptu Dinned in our ears by the tireless dispassionate chortling of Nature, Sunlight on grey land, the grey of the past like a landscape around us Caught in its moment of nakedness also, a pitiful prospect Bared to the cognitive cruelty shining upon it: O season, Season that leads me again, like this road going over the mountain, Past the old landmarks and ruins, the holdfasts of hope and ambition,― Why is the light doubly hard on the desolate places? why even Hardest of all on the tumbledown cabin of Corby the Trader? See, with its tarpaper hanging in tatters, the doorstep awash in a Puddle of cow-piss and kindling-chips, ringed with the mud of a fenceless Yardful of rusty and broken machinery, washstands and bedsteads, Bodies of buggies and berlots, the back seats of autos, bundles of Chicken-wire, leaves of old wagon-springs and miscellaneous wheels....But [page 36] There is Corby himself in the mud and sunshine, in front of the Lean-to cowshed, examining something that looks like a sideboard, Bidding me stop and admire, and possibly make him an offer: “Swapped the old three-teated cow for a genuine walnut harmonium! Look, ain’t a scratch or a brack in it anywhere―pedals and stopples Work just as good as a fellow could ask for! Over to Broome they Say they used to cost four hundred dollars apiece from the factory...” Here is the happy engrosser of objects, the absolute type of All who engage in the business of buying and shifting, the man who Turns a putative profit into an immediate pleasure, Simply by adding a zero to his account with a self-owned Bank of Junk, and creates a beautiful mood of achievement Out of nothing at all! Ah here is the lord of the cipher, This is the Man of the Springtime, the avatar of Lyaeus! [page 37] We should be trading indeed, if we could, I think as I leave him. Mine is a burden of lumber that ought to be left with him also: This is where it belongs, with the wheels and the beds and the organ, With all the personal trash that the spirit acquires and abandons, Things that have made the heart warm and bewildered the senses with beauty Long ago,―but that weakened and crumbled away with the passion Born of their brightness, the loves that a dreary process of dumping Leaves at last on a hillside to rot away with the seasons. [page 38]
SECOND SUNDAY
AFTER
TRINITY
Beneath the pittanced jabber And the answering choral snore Birds’ faint meticulous music Over the pastiche horror Of garbled pillar and spire, The elm’s inverted Gothic Between lust’s last nightmare And God’s ascetic grip Your morning kiss. Alas, in time, I know The birds shall all be slaughtered The elm-tree neatly felled And our love ended, But until then, by Heaven, they do assert Even on this day of rest And cant and blasphemy and dirt All is not lost. [page 39]
THE
CARDINAL’S
DOG
(Muséed’Autun)
The unknown Master of Moulins Painted the Nativity: we see The stable, the stupid ox and Mary, Simpering Joseph on his knees And the Cardinal Rolin on his knees too, His red robe centered by a rat-faced dog. They all look at each other: Joseph at Mary, Mary (her face is blue) at the child, The Cardinal looks, if anywhere, at the ox; But the child looks at the little dog, And the dog at nothing, simply being well-behaved: He is the one who feels and knows... Pensive little dog (you that I love Being only flesh and blood) you see The reason for all this, the dying need Of the worshipful, the master: so We are all one, have seen the birth of God Either through eyes of friend or master, In a book, a song, a landscape or a child, For a breath of time are immortal, tuned To the chord and certainties of animal hope. And the picture teaches us―as Balzac would say― To trust anything on earth more than man. [page 40]
TOWN
COUNCIL
MEETING
Here is the lamplit six-man show of hands. As dugs that learn betimes the rule of thumb These farmer-fingers know the things they know, Work in the absolutes of elements, Now in this shadowy council-room have come To the business of the evening, which is you. (You are the damned soul in the dumpside shack: Can your old carcass last the winter through?) Thoughts of the coffin and the funeral bill Cry to high heaven: Can’t we send him back To where he came from? Threaten him with the law? Break up somehow by force or fraud or skill This Paradise of an old fly in amber (A loaf of bread, a can of beans, and birds around you singing in a rural slum)? The rainbow-vision of a lethal chamber Dances above the waterfall of words; The verdict circles around a mental home.... You are the poor. Some years ago You ate and drank, put nothing by, Paid and were paid, and now you lie In our town limits―[page 41] Poor old guy, coming from god knows where To wash up here, a weight upon these hands,― I too have seen you, sitting in the sun In a cap with lappets, turn towards the glare Of kindly Phoebus and the farmer’s glance Those asking features moulded like a bun― You, the eternal deficit made flesh, The something over and above the sum Allowed by conscience to the home-grown poor... And yes, those shoulders still invite the lash, That head the priestly hands to be laid on, That plight a savage stirring in the core. [page 42]
A BALLAD
OF THE DEATH
OF
THOMAS PEPYS, TAILOR
March 15, 1654
(Composed for the Tercentenary of the same)
A sluggish man with naught But his trade and lease, And a curst imperfection In his speech, Of a consumptive habit, Much given to tears And pride, he took to his bed In his thirtieth year. A week, and his brother Samuel Heard he was dying, And how that his days were numbered Through evil living, And troubled to think of his death Or continuing sick, He went to see him for speech Of people’s sake. There was Mrs. Croxton and Mrs. Holden, And Uncle Fenner, Will. and Anthony Joyce, And Mrs. Turner, [page 43] And they all had given him over Ere day began, When his brother came and found him Indeed far gone, Lying in bed, and his face Like a dying man, Hardly able to know Him from another, And for the rest, talking no sense Two words together. Dr. Powell said, ’Twas the pox, Dr. Wiverly, No. Thomas was taxed, and he swore It was not so, So they searched his cods and found He had spoken true, Which was a matter of joy To Samuel! Who had grieved for the shame of this Upon them all; And he sat an hour by his brother, Hemming and hawing, Till Tom’s talk falling away And his wilderness growing, He asked him if he knew Where he was going? [page 44] Why, where should he go? cried Thomas: There were but two ways, And he must thank God where he went In either case, Though he did not think he deserved To be damned―and This was all the sense came from him, Good or bad. Then he spoke awhile in French With a wildered tongue, Moving his lips and mouth And rattling his phlegm. ―With no mind to see him die, Samuel left the room, And so did Mrs. Turner, Who being overcome, He gave her his arm and company And led her home. But Thomas kept talking idle, And his lips would move, Till his breath breaks out in a flood Of phlegm and stuff, And he dies, with the nurse holding His eyelids down, His chops falling, his face turning Pale as a stone―[page 45] His affairs all in disorder Leaving behind £ 5 148. in a bag, Debts to £ 300, And two bastards by his servant (An ugly jade) And the charges of their breeding But partly paid. But Samuel seized his papers And hid them all, Saw to the washing and shrouding, Bespoke the funeral, And bade his cousins to it He fee’d the sexton, And had the service read By Dr. Pierson. There were biscuits for the mourners, Six a-piece, And as much of burnt claret As they pleased, And for the family, oysters And cake and cheese; But after, and for long after, Talking of Thomas, They were all grieved to think What a rogue he was. [page 46]
THE
WHITE
MANSION
I am a bright thing on my rising ground, A green hill behind me, a blue brook at my feet. The dawn reddens my eastern doors, The whirling sun makes my windows a glory. The woods around me a hundred years ago Were felled to raise my naked arms. Ere I was done the hairy pioneer Fell dead exulting in his dream. I am the death of man and of his dream. I am a homestead in a hundred acres: I draw them around me and devour them. I eat the farmer’s flesh and his children ―Who but I hollaed the sweating team?― Their hands were worn away in my service, Sold my acres one by one to strangers. Ere I was done the dying farmer cursed me, Crying within the strangling noose of hope. I am the grave of the husbandman’s hope. I am the shining temple, a tall man’s pride. My groves are planted with plumy pines. Through my avenues of cedar, my stone pillars, Fly slender horses, tracery of wheels. My lights were seen all through the summer night. Within and without he dressed me in splendour. Ere I was done I stripped him naked. Sent him away weeping, to beg for money. I am the dancer blown with tears and money. [page 47] I am the fairest court of love and pleasure. My hedges tangle, my lawns return to hay, The woods crept up to my rotted door-sills, Stones fell in, but ever amid the mouldering walls The holy fire streamed upright on the altar: Two hearts, two bodies clove, knew nothing more. Ere I was done I tore them asunder. Singly They fled my ruin and the ruin of love. I am she who is stronger than love. I shall never be done: no man shall see it. My brightness overtops his dream. I am the scourge of hope: I bury my servants. I am the sink of wealth: behold my trees. I am the tomb of love: the altar is broken. Swan-white I float among bare crusted maples. Grey hills behind me, black water at my feet, I await the stroke from which I shall arise To announce once more the death of man. [page 48]
THE
WARRIOR
What atrabilious ancestor Stirs in this fiery child of war, Whose furious ambition wakes When he beholds the world’s mistakes And ever drives him to destroy The creatures that he can’t enjoy? Type of a disembodied Cain Who could not tear himself in twain, The dark and undivided will Still chides, and finds a champion still In him who’d make his brother solve The quarrel he maintains with God Whose bayonets in unending lines Have circumscribed his proud designs― Till storming against eternal walls By his own murderous hand he falls. [page 49]
JOGGING
TRACK
Rain and ruin may scar This falling tower But time was never here: Through hours of summer Hoofbeat and bike-wheel wear Around the green intervale A passage of golden air, A rolling cloud, Lapping, lapping the oval, The timing-tower Falling, the shaken ground, All day and forever Hooves of a green horse sound In a grey head A charge on a drum Played by a lad In a filly’s mimic war With time around a tower: Daylight and dogdays are The old man’s year. [page 50]
THOMAS
À
KEMPIS
His unsubsistent mind, self-moving and Subject to rerum horror, could observe ―Before its descent into the nightly grave― Not that the cell expands, but the prisoner Diminishes himself, not that he’s brave, But that, on earth, there’s nothing left to fear. Nobodaddy held him in his hand, A fireless particle. I’ve heard we are Coals ever cooling, blown at times by God; And whether to strike or suffer for the good Of all that breath has meant divides my hours, And though to strike, to inch the door abroad, Is all my vision allows (that―merciful powers!― Confounds the firefly and the falling star), The stroke or sufferance in the midnight is An orchestral sigh. Always the cell is here, Stronger than fire, than the release of fear, Than any love that I can answer for... But oh, green leaves and singing birds that see The flaming sun, lie, lie of the open door, The air of that lost heaven that is not his! [page 51]
UTRILLO’S
WORLD
I
He sat above it, watching it recede, A world of love resolved to empty spaces, Streets without figures, figures without faces, Desolate by choice and negative from need. But the hoardings weep, the shutters burn and bleed; Colours of crucifixion, dying graces, Spatter and cling upon these sorrowful places. ―Where is the loved one? Where do the streets lead? There is no loved one. Perfect fear Has cast out love. And the streets go on forever To blest annihilation, silently ascend To their own assumption of bright points in air.... It is the world that counts, the endless fever, And suffering that is its own and only end. [page 52]
UTRILLO’S
WORLD
II
Anguished these somber houses, still, resigned. Suffering has found no better face than wood For its own portrait: tears are not so good As the last reticence of being blind. Grief without voice, mourning without mind, I find your silence in this neighbourhood; These hideous places ransom with their blood The shame and the self-loathing of mankind. They are also masks that misery has put on Over the faces and the festivals: Madness and fear must have a place to hide, And murder a secret room to call its own. We know they are prisons also, the thin walls Between us and what cowers and shakes inside. [page 53]
HAIL
AND
FAREWELL
I
To be awake today is to be warned. The unwrinkled lake, the landscape and the leaves Shimmered all morning, sails and the yellow flowers Dragging another glory from the dead. The sun of noon, annunciator, struck: An hour returning from another world. Blink! go the eyes, in the middle of it all, Wanting Athene’s shield of glassy brass, And the paradisal past’s intenser light Burns at my eyelids so―this hour’s page Is a blur of words, and every word in flames... Alas, for all familiar things and thoughts, For the clear of certain presences before me, And as what they are for me, here and now, As the translated pegs and props, characters In the fable of a being―infinitely Remote: I mean, daffodils in a vase, Sail on the water, sunlight on the grass. [page 54]
II
But if no more, why then no more. The train Of images Romance drew in her wake Like stars in water, troubled and yet true, Those floating points that charmed a universe To an idea of itself not wholly Base, and impressed their fictions here and there― You fictions that are feelings, go shine forever In the blue aspect of Armance’s eyes! I sift and handle your too-sacred dust And am its fool―to dare the hallowed deeps, Have ado with desire, the dark stranger, Playing with gods, the faces upon coins, And all in game―the stake, as it was between That pair of royal apes that ribbed Gonzalo, A laughter, a waking-up! And I too wake And hear time itself talking: “I am this day, this hour, that speaks: mine is The smooth-tongued challenge of time saying I give you this hour, this perfect shining one, Spill it before you. Here it is at last: Here is the empty frame, the stage set For high deeds, happiness, what you will, For loveliness deferred, guarded so long: I do my part. I show my hand. Take the key.” [page 55]
III
And here is the dry light, the beach of stones. Never will earth break open nor god speak, Nor Roman Curtius take horse and gallop Full-armed into the public pit― — Only eyes closing, hooded from the sun, Suffice in this splenetic hour to ease The lust of matter, flagrat of dry bones Sluiced with the humours of an afternoon, When to accept the word of closing doors, As saints and martyrs do their palms and pains, Is the question: to revive in desperation What was rejected in despite: to see Items as undiscoverable isles And leave them so, with accidental ocean Laving their lambent whatness, to the sense Inviolate, beyond geography, And so much dearer by so far untouched By hope or hunger. So I do, I do― So leave them as they were, poised in the hush Of what they are today, and so resign The flowers to yellow and the lake to blue. [page 56]
DIDACTIC
Rich man, poor man, beggarman, thief― The infant catalogue of caste Conducive to an easy life By incantation: to the last Lazarus and the Abramman Piss vinegar, eat humble pie: Forever shall the ragged man Double his fist against the sky; And Dives and Barabbas too, Pacing the cages of their lust, Inalterably pacing through The course of a devoted dust. ―Dear child, dear natural Calvinist, It is not so. The heart of grace Beat in the chaos Old Night kissed Engendering us: rejoice, rejoice, For thieves grow rich, and poor men steal, And beggars ride the backs of all; Mouth to bum and toe to heel The generations rise and fall; [page 57] Meteors of your blood and state Zoom helter-skelter through the sky; The fruit-stones numbered on your plate, The priests, the movie-makers lie. Though God knows what drives on the whole, In his foreknowledge lies our grief: Slavery is the word for all, Rich man, poor man, beggarman, thief. [page 58]
THE
WHOLE
HOG
When I was very young my mother told me That my father was the strongest of men (Not in words at first, of course―but I knew); Later I learned he was the best and bravest; And during my adolescence (a difficult Time for us all) I had her whispered word for it He was the wisest parent in the world. Long ago I put aside the question Of her motive in his matter....Perhaps A sense of guilt for the disloyalty Of a too-clear, too-wifely valuation Of his man’s-worth, was expiated so: Enough that I too now appreciate The situation, and appraise the need. For now I wonder about his part only, Asking myself through just what consciousness Of his own fragility the man was induced To accept this grand vocation―as he did― And dropping all else, set himself to become Great God to a little child? It is a question That opens up vistas of personal hell....[page 59] To be the Absolute to someone else: Figure the concitations of the demon Thatdrove him to this! Like a hunted beast, Like a starving man, like a falling stone, He followed his blind will to its end in nature, Projected himself in infinity And silvered a looking-glass in his son’s eye. I try to guess what image haunted him, What spectral littleness of man alone: Paltry Invictus with the head of clay Jabbered at him from the pools in his mind, Loomed in the coalsacks of its sky, met him At flowery turnings in his private garden, In sleep, in love, at billiards, at the ball; Until he must have realised that the world was Not only too much with him, but too much for him,― For poor Invictus, the poor gentleman Who laid claim, simply, to the whole universe, But brought no vouchers, bore no strawberry mark! And when lovely women failed him, womanly, He built and altar in the sand of my heart, I have not sacrificed there for years.... But the altar stands, eternal absolute, As if its foundations were laid in living rock; And when I went whoring after strange gods, Why, they were Gods, and it was whoring still,― With reason, unreason, duality of will, And many others, masks of Nobodaddy. [page 60] In my father’s house there were no dissensions, There, all was unanimity and family: Now the plates fly in my head night and day; There, was infallible authority: Now I am free as a crow to fly or stay; There, was no check nor doubt nor indecision: Here I am a dog whistled by many masters, Always obliged to go the whole hog, And with no hambone even to drop in the water; Nosing about the world for love and tid-bits I am still baffled by the faith-breakings Of flesh in season and sonorous language That tell me I also am a piece of property And rouse only my barking rhetoric in answer; For experience only leads me about in a circle, And learning by hearts still leaves my heart rebellious To the violent patterns, the makeshift morals Whose insoluble equation leaves me as cold As the by-blow baby left all night on the doorstep: ―That home with wealthy windows lit, is mine! See, the Portland vase before the Venetian mirror In my father’s house. It is filled with honesty. The abstraction found its body years ago In a plant of eternally desiccated leaves, As my father’s demons spoke of his hold forever On my heart, and mine of the fragile tenure Of all things: we have learned the porcine betrayals. [page 61]
SHAKE DANCER
The corpse-white column spiralling on slow feet Tracing the seashell curve, the figure eight, Coldly unwinds its flowing ribbon With public motions of the private psalm Of supposed woman to the thought of man; And like that man of Bierce’s wrestling In the embrace of an invisible Thing, Flaps in snakehead-strike doublejointed death― As evocation of circumfluent air, The adversary in a breath of air. And the air is icy. Love, that is violence Made easy, is here the end of all, a dance, And man the viewless form, the animal No longer animal but seeing-eye, But super-member of impossible man. So the man of air supplants the man of bone, And it is her who writhes before a glass, Before the figure of his only love, The viewless member in his nerveless hand Working within the adverse air. [page 62]
AN
OLD
FAUN
The adversary I wrestle with Is my dying self, what I have done, What ecstasies have brought to birth: I must surpass perfection, Must climb above this vale of youth And groves of the indwelling flesh, Up stony balding hills of a truth Barely and beautifully less; For that new weather a new shape Put on, and move by other lights; Starshine and glowing embers take For witness of the saving rites Whereby we summon aging Pan To blow a thin re-kindled flame: For what is true since time began But aging passion, aging pain? And these, that shall too soon be dead, Must be tormented till they find The cold, the flowing fountainhead― Ere ears grow deaf and eyes grow blind [page 63] And the dead self in the heat of day Ignore the ever-living thrust. ―The adversary’s softening clay, Its blood, eyes, hatred, hunger, lust. These I would tear the meaning from As things outside the meaning grace, So break the bars of the dark room Where beauty fronts an aging glass. [page 64]
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