August 30, 1842

Mount Melick for Upper Canada

My wife was accompanying me to Dublin where we stayed until September 2 when I started by steamer for Liverpool where I arrived about 10 a.m. on the 3rd. I completed the booking for my passage by the Hottinguer to New York which was to sail on the 5. The preliminaries however could not be completed until the 7th on which day about 12 o’clock at noon we left Liverpool. The first day we made very good way, the wind pretty formidable and weather fine. On the following day however it began to rain, and blow rather hard. This sort of weather continued until the 11 Sunday, when the wind settled and nearly the whole of the day we had a complete calm. Up to this time I had, in common with most of the passengers been very sea sick. On the morning of Sunday however I felt a great deal better; and to-day the 12 Monday, I am quite well. The weather is most beautiful the wind is not very high, nor much in our favour, but we appear to be making pretty good headway, and it is confidently expected we shall have altogether a more than commonly favourable and short voyage. There is one thing however which appears to me much against us—the wind what we have of it has been almost continually a head of us and though the vessel is kept as nearly as possible in the proper course. She is necessarily obliged to after tack about, that is shift the sail so that we may not be much drifted from our proper course. I get quite accustomed to the voyage and believe that before we land I shall be in as good health and spirits as ever I was. I have not yet made many acquaintances on board. Nor do I think I shall, as yet I do not see many congenial souls.—Whilst I was in Dublin I received a letter from Suttcliffe to which however I did not thinkst need say back him any answer. In Liverpool I wrote to my wife, away the same time a letter to my brothers wife in which I took occasion to reveal to Suttcliffe's.

Sept. 16 The weather since my last note has frequently varied. On the morning of 14 the wind began to be very high; and the nights appeared to us landsmen really terrible. The vessel threw about in a manner truly frightful. The boxes, barrels etc. belonging to the passengers rolled about in a manner that made us laugh indeed in the midst of our fears, a good deal of them of course received much injury although nothing luckily belonging to me was injured excepting I lost my little drinking can. Yesterday the wind settled a little, and we had a better night last—it has rained heavily nearly all day, and now the rain having ceased the wind is up again and bids fair to be as on Wednesday night. We are all lashing our things that they may not roll about as before.—I have not been at all well since I wrote last-I got a very bad cold by some means or other, have had a sore throat—a bad appetite, and have not yet recovered properly although I now feel much better. The sort of food I have I don’t at all relish—I long for potatoes, and milk, and a bit of cake—I should have brought a bit of flour by all means and a few potatoes.—It is said we get on our voyage well, and that we shall be in soon. The captain however uses every exertion to this end. It is said he has laid some sort of a wager about beating in the North America, another vessel going to New York, and started out at the same time we did. On Wednesday we lost part of all our three masts of main surmize as proof that we carry too much canvas.

17. Weather still variable. Wind high during the night with occasional showers—and such as continued during the day several hail-showers—just I suppose to give us a fortelling of an American winter. I feel better in health than I have before since started out. Have read a good deal of Chambers Information about Emigraters to Canada and the United States.

21. Since writing last the weather has been variable, strong westerly winds fine sailing, until to-day, which has been a very fine day for the land warm clear and very little wind. We make very little headway just now. At twelve o’clock to-day we have been fourteen days on the voyage. If the wind gets up it’s expected we shall be in less other fourteen days. For my part I don't care how soon we be in—I am heartily tired this way of spending my life. My hopes of success when I get into Canada must think improved as I get nearer.

23. Very fine weather these two days. We make very little way. I suppose it is hardly likely we shall be in less than a fortnight and I am heartily tired already. I am not all well; my bones are very sore and stiff, and there is alternate commotion in my guts. I think though I recover a little now.

(31)21. Still get on badly—though my last night the wind was high and has not yet entirely settled. We are not yet at what they call the Banks of Newfoundland.

October 1.—Since writing above we have had a great alteration on the weather. For two nights last the wind has been higher and the sea very hi than since we came out. We had more fun although not quite so much folly as when we had the masts come down. We were more on our guard. We are now nearly over the banks of Newfoundland and it is expected that we shall be in New York in about a week. I have got a shilling worth of potatoes from the steward today and I shall consequently have a lack of agreeable food I hope until we land. During the way out I have composed a sketch of my life which I intend to copy out in a clear hand when I get a convenient opportunity on in order to show it if necessary in Canada.

2—Sunday. We are still on the famous Banks. Since yesterday a great change has taken place in the weather. Not near so cold and wind much lower—almost a complete calm just now 1 p.m. We hope we shall be at New York next Sunday. I now get quite accustomed to my [?] and I suppose? with me as with others I have read of who have experienced a sort of [?] on leaving the most dismal and uncomfortable of places.

[6 pages illegible including a draft of "Fare thee well my little dearie!" (The Emigrant 533-52) that are largely illegible because of water damage.]

[…]turn down! I suppose the work of the sailors or mate, if of the latter the captain and first Cabin passengers will most likely have a peep at it. And if so I on the whole am but sorry. If I gave a copy of it to fellow in second cabin yesterday and wished him to keep the thing no secret, but we have heard nothing from either quote yet.

14th. Landed at New York about half past three in the afternoon, after a voyage of 37 days and 3 and 1/2 hours. Could not get off luggage until following day, so must stay on board the night. Walked out into the city however in evening. Did not expect to find it so fine a place—think there is not such a place in England if we except London. After my return to the vessel wrote home to my wife, and put the letter in the Post the day following paying only a cent on putting it in.

15.—Got luggage up and passed the customs all right—about the middle of the day. After engaged passage on a steamer to Albany at 50 cents on the deck. Started from New York at five o'clock in the evening and got to Albany about seven on the evening.

16.—Sunday. Stayed on deck one of the tugged boats until the following morning, when I took a place in a tow boat for Rochester at 50 cents fare besides paying for luggage. Started from Albany at about ten o’clock on the morning of the

17.—Monday for Rochester where it is expected we shall arrive in the latter end of the week. I was not at all comfortable either on deck the steamer or the tug the two nights. Neither am I much better in the hold of the tow I have got upon; the consequence is I have a very bad cold and have a dreadful tooth ache to-day.

20. Thursday my left cheek is dreadfully swelled, although I feel much better of the cold, and the acuteness of the pain of the tooth and jaw has much decreased. I hope before I get to Toronto I shall be pretty well recovered. I got acquainted with two young men as I was coming on the steamer from New York, who are going to Toronto, and as they have been there before and are not more over above my cut, I have fallen in with them. We make tea together as we go along. This is a point however to accomplish which we had at first much difficulty. It is customary for passengers to board with the crew—as this neither suited our means nor inclination we could not agree to it, and when wanted a little hot water whereof to make our own tea, we had no little difficulty in getting it though I suppose that by this ruse they would prefer us to a compliance with their wishes. It would not do however, and now we do pretty well.

The scenery on the banks of the Hudson River quite delighted me. I had seen nothing like it before. I do not say that the ground appears to be more productive that in England.—It was the great and continued variety that pleased. There was moreover such and air of comfort, and neatness, and taste about the dwellings all along that I never saw equalled. I cannot however say much of the Erie Canal. The scenery here to my taste is too mild and [?] impresses me with an idea of dreariness. But even along here may be seen some town that appears to be in a very flourishing state. Troy is a fine place for instance, as are several others the names of which I do not at present know.

22. Saturday —Got to Rochester. The steamer goes from Rochester to Toronto at 9 a.m.—It was a little after this time before we were at this spot and the steamer had gone off. Another went to Lewiston in the evening and we determined to go by this. We got to Lewiston a little before day on Sunday morning the

23.—With much difficulty we got over the river to Queenston, being determined to make towards Broadcreek where some public work on the canals is going. When we got to Port Robinson however, 15 miles from Queenston, we made enquiry there which determined us to return and make the best of our own way to Toronto. We were told that the people of Broadcreek were dying every day of ague and fever and as I had no great fancy wantonly to expose myself to almost certain death I was soon prevailed upon to return accordingly on Monday morning.

24.—We started back towards Queenston where we had left our boxes. I had a bad shoe, and in consequence a sore foot, so was almost obliged let the two fellows go on before me—they were in time for the steamer, I too late, and was forced to stop until next day, which circumstance did not disturb me, as my money was all out, and I wanted some time to make some more. Accordingly on the morning of the

25. the Tuesday I took a few books into the country and sold Shakespeare and Watt's Logic for 2 1/2 dollars currency. This helped on the steamer as two o’clock p.m. we got to Niagara in the evening where we stopped until 12 at night and got to Toronto a little before day on the morning of Wednesday

26th—When I had got my things on a cart, almost the first fellow I saw was one of my travelling companions, and I accordingly put up at the same house as him, at a Mr. Murphy’s Cooper’s Arms, an Irishman settled here some years. I had not much spirit for business on that day, and did no more than walk about the town. On the following day

27th —I spoke to Bradley the Emigrant’s agent here. I left him the certificate got from Mr. Beale, and a paper I had composed on he sea, and returned then on the morning of that day, until the following morning and went to bed without further adventure, most heartily wishing myself as comfortably set down as I had once been in old Ireland. This notion however if indulged could only have made me home-sick and I strove to banish it as quickly as possible, and succeeded so well that I was with Mr. Bradley early on the following morning

28—Friday. He returned me my papers and advised me to make towards a Mr. Gamble about 8 miles from Toronto, and see if he could not give me something to do. Well I forthwith made off to this gentleman, but got astray, and it was dark at night before I found him out. He could give me nothing to do, but as I had told him I had been reared to sorting and combing he advised me to make towards some Barbers brothers, that carry on carding, fulling, dying, weaving cloths and blankets &c., about thirty miles in the country, at a little village called Georgetown. And I having shown him too the sketch of my life he wished me to enquire of a Mr. Montgomery I had to pass on my way of a school that was a short time before a vacancy was taken up. I stayed at a tavern near Mr. Gamble’s until morning, and started early the

29. —Saturday on the foregoing business. When I got to Montgomery’s however the school I found was taken up; I then made the best of my way to towards the Barbers; I could not reach the place although before night, and stayed at a tavern in a place called Norwal until morning the

30. —Sunday, but notwithstanding made off towards the end of my journey as I supposed or hoped it. I may observe here though that a poor Irish woman whom I accosted immediately after leaving the tavern would have me take breakfast before I proceeded farther, and that this was the first time any one had asked me to put a bite into my head since I left home. Well I got to the Barbers’ in the evening. They could not give me work. They gave me something to eat. I enquired of them too about a school now quite dispirited. They told me they believed there were three or four in the township vacant, and advised me to make towards a Mr. Burns, at some miles distant, but the same township of Esquesing. I made off there all haste, but could not get to the house the night. I called and stopped with a farmer called Nickele, a farmer from the North of Ireland, all night, and in the morning early made towards Mr. Burns’.

31. Monday. Mr. Burns I found when I got to his house was absent on school business, he being one of the school commissioners. I got breakfast with his family, and waited about until Mr. Burns’ return in the evening. He told me, as indeed I had already learned, that there was a school vacant near his own house, and after questioning me a little advised me to go sound the neighbours and invite them to a meeting to be held in the school house at one o'clock on the following day. I could not go through them all the night and stayed with Andrew Scott until the morning of the

1st November. In the morning I finished my mission. Not many attended the meeting, having other business to attend to, but most promising to give the school all the encouragement in their power. Well, it was finally agreed that I should have the school, Mr. Burns asking me some questions in his capacity of Commissioner, and being in the main quite satisfied with my answers. A mutual agreement was come to between in writing the purport of which is that I should teach a certain school in accordance with the Common School Act now in force in this province; and that in return I should receive Bed and Board, fuel for the school, and one dollar per quarter for each scholar until the money should be received from the public fund, and if such public fund should equal or more than equal the dollar per quarter for each scholar I to receive it and refund any I might have received from them, and if not equal they to make up the deficiency. I then went about getting signatures to the agreement but as I could not finish this business this day, I stayed with John Scott until morning.

2.—Wednesday. I had done what I could do at that time do about the middle of the day, and, after getting dinner with Mr. Burns, started off to Toronto for my things, and to get a few school things I should of course want. I got down to Norwal to the old woman’s house I breakfasted with as I came up, where I stayed all night.

3.—Thursday. The old woman gave me some warmed buttermilk and bread, and put one lot of bread and beef up, and I came off. It was late in the evening before I got to Toronto, I having met with a fellow on the road, who detained me no little. He called himself Matthews, was quite drunk, and towards the end of our journey I could not get him on at all. I went of course to my old quarters. As I had no money, I of course went about getting some on the following morning

4.—Friday. —I sold my blanket and pillow, and the bed tick I had on the sea the woman I topped with for fourpence more than I owed for my board and lodging. I then took out some books, intending to sell them, but either from shame or a want of encouragement I did not sell one; and came home just as I started, if I except a great falling off in my spirits. On the following morning

5.—Saturday—I spoke to some respected booksellers in the town about buying them, intending to go off if possible by the steamer at two o’clock, but I could do nothing with them. I now came home and wrote a line or two to John Gee enclosing Christy Malone’s letter in it, and after wrote one home to my wife just detailing generally the way I was getting, suppressing only the difficulties, as I have reason to believe most people do who write from America,— and then posted them without paying anything. My time was now nearly expired, and I must get up money by some means. I accordingly sold twenty vols. of books to a man in the market for 5 d. per vol., and after all when I had bought what little things I wanted, the steamer was gone off, so I must stop until Monday, the steamers not going from here on Sundays. On

6.—Sunday I employed myself in writing a couple of copies of the agreement between me and my school employers, and afterwards in writing this journal since the 22nd October,—and now I expect I will rest the remainder of the day. I must be off to-morrow.

13.—Did not leave Toronto until Thursday the 10 inst. in consequence of the badness of the weather, the steamers not being able to play upon the Lake. Came up to Oakville, left my boxes there until there be an opportunity of getting here on a waggon, and started towards here on the same evening, got to the bottom of this Township, and finished my journey next day Friday about noon; took up my quarters with Mr. Burns, and yesterday swept out the school and got in wood ready to begin to-morrow; to-day I am in the school regulating my affairs—preparing for my undertaking. I of course don't know yet how the thing will turn out—I am anxious however to begin and try what can be done. A good deal of the neighbours seem to me not to know well what a school is, and are no means decided as to whether there ought to be one, or rather are decided that if there be one, it ought to be entirely under their control, and the master consequently be no master at all, but be able to twist himself to suit all their foolish whims. Mr. Newton however will them that he is not to be so easily managed, that he will do what he takes to be right regardless of the consequences, or rather sure the consequences in such case must be in his favour.—When I left Toronto I was obliged to leave some books in payment of my bill at my lodging house; and before that I had sold my blanket and pillow, twenty vols. of Nottingham’s Library besides Shakespeare and Watts, and after all have now but a half sou in my pocket. It is impossible for me to calculate what money it has cost me since I left home; and now that I should have a few little things of clothing before winter sets in I shant be able to get a single article.

20.—Sunday.—Have been Schoolteaching a week now. On Monday I had six scholars, on Tuesday seven, and on Wednesday nine; —stopped here. It is said I shall have more to-morrow—if not I have a notion I shall not be very comfortable long. Three dollars and board a mouth will hardly do. I have a good opportunity of improving myself however, and if this should not turn out better, I shall be able with a better face to look out for a better situation. I like my boarding very well and if I in other respects was doing any way well I don’t know that this sort of life would be disagreeable to me.—The winter has commenced here, in the three last days there has been a good deal of snow with hard frost, harder than I think I ever saw at any time in the old world. I want a pair of boots to keep out the snow very badly, but I suppose I may want them a while.

27.—Sunday. —Another week has passed over me here. Since Tuesday last, I have had twelve scholars in the School; and it is said I shall have more to-morrow. I get on with my undertaking pretty well, but I am quite aware there is still much room for improvement in me yet. I was down at another School in the neighbourhood—Mr. MacIntyre’s yesterday, and could not help seeing a vast difference between his and mine, as much perhaps in regard of superior management as the much greater advancement and attentiveness of his Scholars: I have no fear however but that I shall be able soon to give a superior character to my school. The Scholars I have have been heretofore let allowed to run wild application and propriety of behaviour they don't appear to have any just idea of, and it will doubtless take some time before a proper state of things can be established. There is a great commotion among some of my patrons on account of my moral management of my Scholars, the poor things believing that nothing but continual cudgelling will do. We shall see. I am still with Mr. Burns, and he appears to approve of my conduct pretty well: and I presume he is better capable of forming a correct judgement of this matter than any other of my adjudicators.—I have not yet got my things up from Oakville. I wish I had them however. I suppose it is probable I shall be obliged to undergo a regular examination of the new Commissioners early in January, and some books I have below would I apprehend be of some service to me before this event takes place.—I of course do not hear anything from home yet. I suppose indeed it will be the latter end of February before I do. Of course I cannot but speculate about the way they are getting on, and feel that it must be bad enough with them. I suppose the youngster must have come now, whatever it be, and poor Jem is doubtless no little knocked about. Well, well we must only hope the best. It was a great blunder we did not all come together. How we might have managed it then, but when we will be able to do so now the Lord knows. I may make up my mind to wait twelve months from the time I left home before I see them here at least. The snow still continues to accumulate and the weather to get colder the story about the Canadian winter being pleasanter than the winter in the old country appears to me all stuff. But let that pass, I shall like better I doubt not when I get home.

December 4 Sunday. Another week is passed. I got two fresh Scholars in the middle of the week. Whether I shall yet have any more is doubtful. It seems I do not give entire satisfaction. A good deal of very bad feeling I find exists between the Burns' and most of the rest of the neighbours, and it seems they think partiality is shown Burns’ children. This is of course all imaginary stuff; but let it be as it may it seems to be sufficient to stop my efforts to establish myself here. I shall see however shortly how I go on and if I do not improve I suppose I must look out for something else for it would do for me to throw away my time in this way. I suppose I will leave Burns to-noon and go to John Scott’s for a few days. I like this shifting about from far to the worst of any part of my contract: if I had my wife here I must devise some other plan but for the present there is no remedy. —The weather continues much the same—except that on Friday it began to thaw a little of the frost however has set in again now.

Dec 11. Sunday. Another week past. I am still in my solitary Schoolroom with my hopes however of being able ultimately to make something out even here a little raised. My number of Scholars have been encreased during last week to 19, and it is said that I may expect more in the beginning of next week. To say that I like in this situation would perhaps be saying too far, but what could I have better? I feel to be sure that policy sometimes makes me put on the hypocrite, and to pretend to agree to do things with a good grace which my own feelings and convictions disapprove of. For the present however I see no remedy; and a in this acting I do not ignore any one and benefit or rather do not ignore myself, I do not see the great harm there is in it. Yet it is my intention to get from under all restraint as soon as possible. Nothing however can be done until I hear from home, which I do not expect to do until about the expiration of my quarter at the schooling. I live well and sleep well—I have been with John Scott during the last week—and these are no small considerations here at this time of the year, and the present depressed state of every sort of business. As far as I can see, unless I had got their Godsend, I must either have starved or very nearly during the winter.—One young fellow I have had at school during last week seems to be very much taken with me, and as I have managed to impress him with an idea of my past abilities, it is probable I shall reap a little benefit from his publishing my fame throughout all the religious round a bout. The neighbours too seem to be of opinion that I shall do now, and this change has not as it seems to me, been brought about by any new discovery of ability, but in consequence of my having got a pretty tough switch, and having used it pretty freely on several occasions during the past week.—I have not yet got up my boxes from Oakville. This circumstance is of some little inconvenience to me, more however on account of books than anything—as to clothes why I have not much of them to bring, and have as much here as my present wants require. I want a pair of shoes or what is more used and more proper here a pair of boots, as my old shoes are now almost entirely worn out. I suppose however I shall not be able to accomplish this point until I get my quarter’s pay. —The weather of course still remains much the same as it was last week —all snow, snow, snow. I had a sleigh with Mr. Burns yesterday up to a little village a couple of miles away from here for no business however of my own.

18 December Sunday. —Another week over. It is something curious that I should so anxiously count the weeks as they pass, as if time did not move fast enough to bring me in time to the commencement of eternity. The true reason however is not that I do not live fast enough but that I do not as it were live at all—my life is a sort of blank—no enjoyment that leaves its shadow, all dull listless monotony—and so I suppose it must be until I am again united with my family—I was made to live alone, although somehow I manage to conceal my real feelings so effectively that the people amongst whom I live are fully persuaded that I am perfectly happy. But enough of this—it will be Christmas day next Sunday, and I think that by then my letter will probably have reached home, and if so will I suppose be no unacceptable Christmas box.—Last week I had two more Scholars —now I have 21, and it is said that to-morrow I will have more. I appear to give more general satisfaction now than at first. I use the rod a little sometimes to some of my patrons. Well, though at first I supposed this mode of proceeding unadvisable I now begin to fancy that I see some account in it. When love will not draw my jokers to their duty I find the rod to be mean assistant in driving them to it. The weather is of course still the same I suppose we have more than 18 inches of snow.

Private Journal Commencing Dec. 25, 1842

Esquesing

Upper Canada

Dec. 25 1842. Christmas day, and Sunday. What a curious being is man! To-day here and to-morrow as it were thousands of miles away. How could I have foreseen last Christmas day that I should have been here to-day, and under those circumstances! And if I take a review of what I have gone through the last year, I cannot but be much astonished and deeply impressed with the instability of every thing that concerns man. Last Christmas day I was in Dublin, and the day after got upwards of twenty pounds worth of books from Tegg & Co. on credit; in little more than three months after I was thrown out of work; in a week or two after this I went to France, stayed there a few weeks and returned to Ireland full of hope that I should be able to resume my old employment; it was not so however, and after tramping about hawking books a couple of months, sold what I could of my property, and started hither, with no certainty whatever of being able to get anything suitable to do; when I did get here however it seems I was better provided for than indeed I was ever led to expect. To be sure I am not so content as I used to be at home, nor indeed do I expect to be so until I get my wife and my young ones here. I may not indeed even then like well; but if not I shall know the better how to turn myself. Poor little James will be two years old to-morrow; how he will be able to spend it of course I am not able to say, but I fear before this time the poor fellow has often been obliged to sup on sorrow. Well, let us hope the best.—It is now seven weeks since I sent off my letter home; I should think they have got it before now, or about now indeed from the time I have hoped it would reach home about Christmas, saying it would be not disagreeable Christmas box.—It seems Christmas is not thought much of here.—I am still with Mr. Lawson but will expect shift in the beginning of next week. I got a pair of new boots yesterday so that I will be the better able to travel through the snow after my grub. This part of the system I like the work of any; I have no home, a houseless wanderer; and though I live well, and the people begin to like me, yet I feel that nothing could supply the place of home. I have got no more new Scholars yet, but I believe may expect some to-morrow.—We plastered the school inside yesterday, so that it is much warmer and comfortable; I got and made more benches and finished the double desk I began the week before last, as did some other little jobs around the school; all which I am very well pleased with, and feel assured that I shall soon begin to reap the benefit of my care. That I improve much in knowledge here I cannot say; but I fancy I get every day better able to conduct a School. Yet schoolteaching is not to my taste exactly; it is however perhaps the best thing I could turn to here at present. The weather of course is the same as this since the snow began to fall. They say there is fine sleighing.

1843.

January 1. Sunday. This is the first day of the new year. To take a review of the past year, anything full, would be impossible for me to do. No year of my preceding life has been near so pregnant with such remarkable and untimed events. Had I known last new year’s day what was in store for me, I certainly should not have borne myself through the past year with such fortitude and hope as I have done. In all my trials I have never ceased to hope that something better was soon to follow. Indeed it seems to me that man’s sojourn on earth would not be at all made happier by his knowing his terrestrial destiny. Let him be in trouble, he is always inclined to look forward to speedy relief; let him be in ill health, he never ceases to hope for and to persuade himself that his reestablishment in the full enjoyment of that which is indispensably necessary to make life agreeable is nigh; let friends betray or fly him, he instantly supplies their place, in imagination at least;—in short there is something in man that leads him ever to look forward, and sink his present and past sufferings in his anticipations of a more favourable future. What the next year will be to me I of course cannot possible foresee; but certain I am that the greater part of it has in stone for no little unhappiness and anxiety. I do now to be sure get a sufficiency of food, but with this I cannot be satisfied—I hunger and thirst after a different sort of substenence—social comfort and mental contentment. I know that it must be a good many months before my wife and (what I suppose is the case before now) children; before then I must be on others’ hearths, and on some I find I shant be at all comfortable and on some so mush so as upon my own. Well I suppose my letter must have reached home before now, and that I may at all events expect an answer in as many weeks as have transpired since I sent mine off; in the meantime I see that every week will make me more anxious. How they will spend the new year’s day, I can form some idea—but I cannot dwell on this matter. Poor James! thy troubles (like thy father’s indeed) have commenced early! and thy brother’s or sister’s more so, but for the latter I have not yet learned to feel such sympathy as for thee! Well let us hope the best. The time may shortly come when all thy troubles will have an end.—Got two more Scholars to the school last Monday; have now in all 23, and may expect more to-morrow. I gave in an account yesterday of our proceedings since we commenced, yesterday when the School Commissioners give in their offices. On Monday I understand an election of others will take place. It seems I am to be turned over to the next batch for examination. I don't know that I feel very on their account. I think I am not a greater fool than some of my brethren, and as to the Commissioners, if it is not for their ignorance, I need fear.—

January 8. Sunday. Got a letter from my wife on Thursday last, the fifth inst., in just two months from the time I put mine into the post, mine being posted on the fifth November, 1842. It brings me news, some of it of a rather unexpected nature. It seems Mary had a little son on the 19th November, and it died nine days after. Though in a worldly point of view I suppose it will be better for me at present that this is so than that the poor thing lived, yet somehow or other I cannot help wishing it had lived. It seems it was a very fine child, and according to the account I have this indeed was the cause of its death, but I cannot help thinking that there was some want of care or skill in the matter, and that had I been there at the time I might have been able to save its life by taking timely methods of doing so. Let this be as it may however, the poor little thing is dead and no remedy can be now applied. And my God who I hope has in reserve eternal happiness for the innocent and the virtuous render it capable of enjoying happiness to all eternity; and when I am called away from this scene of woe see and be known and acknowledged by it! Amen. The girl tells me that she is well now, although she has had much suffering in bringing forth the little child. James too is very well; a piece of intelligence which of course is pleasing to me. I like James nice, and as the other is gone, it is likely that my affection for him will be undivided for some time longer. She tells me too that her mother and sister have been very kind to her, which was of course to be expected, and still I suspect this mother and sister to have been at the bottom of a proceeding which would not have suffered had I been a little nearer them. But let this pass until I know more about the matter. They doubtless think this a fine opportunity to upset and overrule me, but I am not that passive thing, and I will not fail to make the proper enquiries, and act accordingly.—I am told too that Mr. Beale’s affairs are in the same state as when I left, and that all the English have left not only Mountmelick but Dublin, George Millner having stopped business. I am told moreover that Debby Pratt has had a young child, and that none but herself (if she knows) knows who is its father. Strange news! as badly as I did, I did perhaps as well as if I had wed Debby. The girl now seems to be quite willing to come to America, but thinks it would be well for her to stay until May. I think so too, but this is said in a style that has me strongly think it was put into her head. I see I shall not be able properly to manage this girl until I get her into my own hands. Will wants to know whether he should get employment if he were to come over with her. I want no one here of her kind but herself and shall therefore give Will not the least encouragement.—But enough of this matter for the present.—I still go on pretty well with the school. Have now thirty Scholars on the list, and I suppose may expect more yet. I began to keep a night-school last week; I have not had a great attendance at this yet; nor indeed do I expect or wish it.—Intended to write home again in a few days, and begin to put the copy in my Journal.

Direct as before. It is supposed that letters come later not prepaid.

January 15. Sunday. Finished writing my letter to my wife to-day and have just sealed it up. What a curious being is man! Whilst I had this job in hand I felt quite happy, now I feel a sort of vacuum in my existence, which I supposed will remain unfilled up until I again hear from home. I made a few verbal alterations to the foregoing draft, and adding a little as a postscript which I had not the heart or did not necessary to transcribe. I got two or three more Scholars last week, but I apprehend two or three are going to leave me. For what reason is of course best known to themselves—such things must be it impossible to please every one—I acquit my own conscience, and if doing I do not at the same time give satisfaction, I am at any time ready to resign my post. I have been with MacAinsle during last week. To-morrow is what is called Hansel Monday. As is customary Mr. Lawson’s people make it a sort of annual jubilee—are going to have a ball to-morrow to which I am invited.

—22—Underwent an examination by the School Commissioners yesterday; and the thing passed off as I have every reason to believe to the entire satisfaction of all parties. As a proof the two Adams in the village above, who were present when the examination was going on afterwards offered me their School which is at present vacant, but which as far as I can learn offers much more favourable attendance of Scholars than this one—I believe however that I will stick by my first love—at least until I see that this cannot be made to command the legal number of Scholars. I tore open my letter to my wife yesterday and am re-writing it—it seems the mail had gone off before mine was ready to send—so I must wait now until the next.—I was at two new year’s balls in the beginning of last week, Mr. Lawson’s and John Scott’s—I was of course no little amused. Altogether I think I may say that I begin to like very well here, and every week I feel less and less inclination to return to England. We had very considerable thaw during the greater part of last week but it now seems to be over, the frost having set in again with snow threatening.

January 29.—Sunday. Another week is over. How curious that I should thus count the weeks, as if my course did not run off fast enough. Not content will explain all. Although I get better settled— accustomed—I feel as acutely as ever that I am alone. I finished the writing of my letter during the week, and now wait only an opportunity of sending it off. I suppose in three months from this I may expect an answer, and in three months more, will probably have my James and his mother. Well I must only pass the time as agreeably as possible. I have a pretty good lot of Scholars now, and have not much time to lie heavy upon me in weekdays—it is only on Sundays that I weary as the people here call it. I have now 36 Scholars on the list, and have a regular attendance of more than thirty. I do not get the money from the public fund yet; nor hear when I will do. In two weeks more I shall have been here at this job three months. I do not yet get my boxes from Oakville; I intend however if I do not get them in some other way soon to hire a team to fetch them—they will probably sustain much more damage than this would cost, and after all as it seems to me this must be done—besides I might make something with bookbinding, and if I had my books I could spend my heavy hours much more agreeably.—During last week I wrote another paper for Ellen Lawson, this about the plagues of Egypt. I have managed to ingratiate myself into the good graces of these people marvelously considering the bad beginning I made.

A Toast.

February 7. Tuesday. I could not get up to the school on Sunday to make an entry in my journal, in consequence of an immense fall of snow that continued the whole day. On Monday morning when I was obliged to come up to go on with my business, I experienced no little difficulty in doing so; and this morning much more. This morning the snow was so much drifted that I could scarcely get here at all. It cannot be less than two feet deep on an average—what must it be then where it drifts? I was very nearly giving up the Ghost when I got here, and most heartily wished myself in old Ireland again. I believe indeed I will go somewhere from here—but let this be until I get the family here—I have not yet got off my letter. I get no more Scholars since. I have been near a quarter here now but have not yet heard of the main thing—money.

Le Journal privé commensent 20 Février, 1843

Esquesing

Common School, No. 8

February 20, 1843.—Though among strange people and in a strange land, my life becomes now quite monotonous: a description of one day might very well do for all the rest. I continue to go on as usual with the School—if anything perhaps my number of Scholars decreases; and I suppose I may now calculate upon losing the greater part of the bigger ones in a very short time now, the sugar season being expected to commence about the end of this month. These last three weeks have been intensely cold—so much so that those who have been settled here a good many years are of opinion that they have not before seen such cold weather; and if so with them I must be rather astonished with the thing. The ink in the school if laid close to the fire would be frozen quite stiff in the morning. I got a pair of drawers from Mr. Burns, and since I have borne the cold much better.—I got my boxes from Oakville on Friday evening last—by Mr. Burns. Luckily no material injury was done anything—the person in whose charge they were left having brought them out of the Lighthouse before the bad weather set in. I have now work enough for the winter.—I sent my letter off home more than a week ago, and I believe it is now on its way for England as according to advertisement a mail was to be made up in Toronto on the 19 inst.—I may note that I got a Leinster Express in the beginning of the last week. It informs me that there was to be a sale of the rest of the property of Messrs. Beale & Co. about Christmas; and also that a few days before its publication John Dunne the builder, Mount Melick was buried.

27. —Monday. Another week over. Nothing more than ordinary to note. The weather has begun to be a little milder, yet it does not seem that there is going to be a regular thaw yet, for it snowing this morning. I read a lot of novels during last week. I brought down the British Plutarch and the French on Chemistry on Saturday, and intend to peruse them over this week. I think indeed if I had the wife here now I should like pretty well—as it is however I still feel myself not at home. I was with Nickele’s last week and am still.

12 March.—Sunday. Still going on in the old fashion. Losing a good deal of my Scholars though now, although the sugar making has not yet commenced. The season is much more backward I am told this year than usual. It is indeed still very cold. I have not yet got any money for my teaching. There is some of the public money to be distributed next Saturday I suppose, and I expect I shall get some of it. I got a newspaper from my wife in the beginning of last week: don't hear anything otherwise from her yet. I suppose she has about got my letter now. I have thought of sending for her as soon as I could muster up money enough whether I heard before or not, but this notion I have laid aside.

Mars 19. Dimanche. Une autre semaine est passe. Personne il se est [sic.] passe durant la semaine passe de beaucoup de consequence, à regard de moimeme. Un accident affreux est arrive sur le soir de le 17 Mars. Un homme, nomme Thomas Nickele, qui viat de L’Irelande l’été passé, et avec qui j’étais assez bien familier, fais[?] tue pas le tomber d’une arbre dans un bois pres de la maison ou je logais. J’etais sur la place en un breu de moment après et je assistais lui a prendre chez Mr. Thomas Somerville, pour qui [?] N. travaille, et je demeure la tour du nuit. Le pauvre homme mauvais sur hier, ennson une heure après midi. Il était a été tout-a-fait un conscious of anything from the time he was hurt until he died. It seems his head was jambed between two logs, and his skull[?] was dreadfully fractured. He is to be buried to-morrow.

I suppose a division of the school money was made yesterday, but as I did not go near, and as I did not see Mr. Burns after, I have not yet heard what is to fall to my share. I suppose my letter has got home now, and if I get money enough to bring out my wife, I suppose I shall be anxious to receive an answer that I may send for her. It is not my intention however to send for her until I hear from her.—My Scholars fall off, although as yet the sugar season has not commenced, the weather being still very cold.

26 March. Sunday. Another week over—of course like all the rest. My Scholars begin to fall off fast now, although the weather is still very cold, and the sugar making not yet begun. The season is said to be more backward and severe than has been known for a great many years. I have been with Lawson awhile now—near three weeks—but intend to change to-morrow—to go to Stalker’s. Don’t hear anything mine yet from home. I suppose my letter must have arrived before now, and if I get an answer in as short a time as I did before, I may expect an answer in the middle of next month. I am much better content now than I was. Have a pretty good deal of leisure and read a good deal. I fancy moreover that I get much more handy at schoolteaching than I was. Whether I follow the craft or not, I see it will be of no little use to me, let me be in whatever situation after. As I note last, the money has been in part received from the fund for the common Schools, and half the amount was distributed by the Commissioners on Saturday last. I have not got any however yet. Mr. Burns called in the School in the beginning of the week, and told me he had got 26 dollars; and at the same time suggested that there ought to be a meeting of the neighbours called. I suppose to see how it is to be disposed of, he doubtless having forgot the agreement we entered into when I began this business. I intend to remind him of it however. I however shall give every encouragement to get up the meeting, as when learned gentlemen get assembled I intend to submit certain proposition to them relative to my future proceedings. The meeting I intend to be on the first day of April if possible.

April 2, Sunday.—On Tuesday last put on the door of the School the following notice.

Friday happened to be a very snowy day, and but three individuals in consequence attended. Very little was done, and no final decision was come to. The agreement entered into when I began the School was read—a great disposition to set some of it aside shown, which I did not oppose, and a great deal of nonsense was talked. There is to be another meeting Tuesday next when I suppose some final decision will be come to as to what I am to receive for my past services, as well as what I am to get in future. Before the last meeting separated I submitted to it the following; which as might be expected threw a little consternation into the parties present—Mr. Burns, John Scott, and Nickele.

As no one has yet offered me any money, I see some plan of the above description is necessary to my getting on at all, and I have therefore determined to insist upon the principle contained in them being kept in view in our next agreement, which as the old one was to expire when the first installment should be received from the public funds, must be made at the meeting on Tuesday next. In the meantime I have done about the matter.—I receive nothing more from home yet.—The weather is still not broken. There cannot be less than three and a half feet of snow on the ground now—on the second of April! Nearly five months before the snow began to stop on the ground. I think of writing a letter to the Editor of the Leinster Express, detailing what has occurred to me while I have been here, thinking that I might say something that would be of some use to intending emigrants.

[Entry unclear because overwritten.]

April 9—Sunday. In pursuance of our agreement, a meeting was held in the School on Tuesday last: the following was agreed to

So I am settled here six months longer at least; having secured 16 scholars, and I am told I may expect more. I have agreed to board with Lawson’s until I get over the wife, or until I think proper to remove at 10 shillings York a week. This is rather high, but the old man tells me I may make myself useful about the house—in the garden or the like; and in this manner I have a notion I shall reduce the sum down to a mere trifle at the end of the quarter. I intend new to fit up my binding apparatus, and try if I can make any that way. My big box is still with Burns; but I must try to get it away, although I feel this a delicate matter. I imagine they would have been satisfied to let me stop with them, but I would as lief go where I am, and as they did not mention the matter to me, I ventured to take the present step. I am to have the 26 dollars got from the Commissioners and to have it made a dollar a quarter for the time past. Altogether I shall have about eight pounds sterling to receive, if I can get it, which however is a little doubtful.—The weather is now becoming much warmer. The snow has gave fast away these two or three days just, though the nights are still freezing. The sugar making will be general going on next week.—Do not yet hear any thing from home. It is not my intention to write until I do hear though. I think a steamer was to leave Liverpool on the 3rd of each month, and if so I need not expect to get a letter now until the beginning of next month, for had my letter came by that of last month I should have got it before now.—The letter to Leinster Express I have finished, and intend to send it off with the first opportunity.

16. April—Sunday—Went up to Duncan Kennedy’s yesterday; saw also J. McIntosh. Got half a dollar from James—only 11 due, and 18.9 from D. Kennedy. 18.7 due.—It seems the people in this division were expecting me to go up to them and not engage here any more, and I now see that in a money point of view I made a bit of a blunder in not doing so.—Don't get a letter from home yet. J.N. is going down to Toronto next week on the beginning of the following, and I agreed to go along with him, so I must go about getting my money as soon as possible.—I got my press made for bookbinding last week, but it is hardly likely I’ll make anything by the practising of my art here.—Thawing fast now.

23 Avril, Dimanche—Une autre semaine est passe. Je n’ai pas entendu chez moi. J’espere que j’entenderais durant la semaine passe, mais je suis trompe. On dit qu’un mail pars de l’Angleterre sur le troisieme de tous le mois, et si comme ca, il doit arriver environ maintenant.—J’irai aToronto le Mardi prochain avec James MacIntosh il pour faire ses propre affaires, et moi pour envoyer de ma femme. Je n’ai pas assi beaucoup de monnie que je souhaitais— mais environs sept livres—mais il faut qu’elle le fait faire. J’ai l’intenion pour prendre une passage pour ma femme et mon fil, en Toronto si je peut, afin que je sauve le peine d’envoyer la monnie a l’Europe et [Rest of entry written in shorthand.]

April 30. Sunday. Went down to Toronto on Tuesday last, and got there before noon on Wednesday 26. Paid to the Canada Company, after enquiring whether there was any shipping company in the place with which I might make a bargain for my wife to come out as well, and finding there was no such company—8.12.8 pounds currency = 7.0.0 pounds sterling for which I got the following receipt—"Received of Mr. John Newton the sum of eight pounds 12/s which will, as requested by him, be remitted by next steamer to Mrs. Mary Newton in Ireland according to his directions, at the Exchange of 11% percent premium being £7.0.0 sterling

Canada Company's Office     Jno. Midden

Frederick Street, Toronto      Commissioner"

26 April, 1843

After this business was done I wrote a letter to my wife containing directions as to how she is to come out. The mail starts in the beginning of May, and I expect she will get my letter and her money by the same post, and if so, I suppose I may expect her here in about three months. I have not yet got any answer to the letter I sent in January. There must have been some mistake in regard of this letter I am afraid.—I got back from Toronto on Friday—pretty tired—the roads were pretty bad—deep and fatiguing. I brought the books I left with Murphy’s, and a few others—Dickens, American Notes, a part of Chambers’ Information, and a few catechisms, &c. I am going to get my things down to Lawson’s and begin bookbinding next week. I work with the old man, and I hope I’ll be able to go a good way towards clearing my board before I get over the wife.

May 7—[Entry written in shorthand.]

May 21.—Sunday. Got two newspapers, a Leinster Express and Freeman’s Journal, and a letter from my wife yesterday. The letter contains nothing very particular just indeed what I expected. She tells me she and James are in good health, but that in other respects are badly enough off: of course. It seems she does not well understand what I said about the little child "she has never done anything behind my back that she would fear to do before my face"—but she cannot comprehend my meaning in this particular no no. I did not intend her on her’s rather to comprehend it thoroughly.—She tells me Mr. Beale is still doing nothing but that he has part of his concerns in his own hands yet, and it seems he was to know something more about his affairs on the 6th April (the letter I got was sent off 21 March, so it has been two months on the way). The poor thing is at a loss too it seems about my expression in regard of our being Protestants here—she says "it matters not to her what they profess if they see my friends", and she hopes they will naturally bestow a little of that friendship on her—evidently not seeing that I meant by—"as are all my family mind"—that she must be a Protestant too here. She tells me Mount Melick is in a very bad state there being very few people employed in any branch of manufacturing—a good deal of them—the shopkeepers I suppose—having failed since I left. She tells me that Holmes is at home, and that he denies being married at all—of course.—It seems she has had a letter from my brother William and Sarah Anne. The following is a copy of my brother’s letter.

Yes just so Will had badly enough off he done say. I shall begin to be a regular believer in presentiments soon—during most of last week I have been thinking of poor Will, and had indeed determined to write to him, giving him the very information he wishes. I will proceed to write the boy a letter without delay. I intend to tell him just the way I find the country. Of course I will recommend him to come here, but I will advise that he do not come until next spring. I shall get better acquainted with the country in the meantime, and will I hope be able to get him on without much difficulty—by that time. If we agree to get land we can continue to get near one another—so that we shall be company and if need be assist each other occasionally. And our poor Sam—I wonder how he gets on— badly enough, of course—and Joe—as usual—I hope to see them all out here yet, and doing well. Let us wait a while I must pioneer a little for them.—As to my wife I suppose she will have the letter I sent in little more than a week now if there be no unforeseen delay, and if there be fine weather she will doubtless be here in less than two months.

May 29.—[Entry written in shorthand.]

I have often wondered how shopkeepers and the like understood their alphabetical marks on their goods—I have got a notion of it now, and as I suppose I shall sometime be required to have something of the sort, I have hit upon one for myself. by—

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

b e n o t h a s t y

"be not hasty"—a good enough principle in business, eh, my dear?

Journal beginning June 7/43

Common School No. 8

Esquesing

1843 June 8, Thursday. Did not note anything on Sunday last as is my custom. Have not since got any more word from home. The letter I sent off must have got home now, although I hear that on account of some mishap the mails made up in Toronto in the beginning of May were too late for the steamer for England, and that in consequence they must stand over until the next; but even so my letter will be about at the end of its journey now, and if so I may expect an account in a month now. I begin to be rather anxious of course, still I get on pretty well. I work for the old man, and I think I shall make out my board with him. I have been binding a couple of books for him this week: this is the first trial I have made since I came to the country. The school does very little indeed for me now. I must look out for another School or something else to do. I have only 15 or 16 Scholars, and no appearance of more. Besides the people I am among cannot agree with themselves, the children enter as heartily into the quarrels of their parents as the parents themselves, and in consequence the children are continually at variance. This would be very disagreeable in itself, did it not make the management of the children next to impossible. The Burns’ and the whole family of the Lawson’s are at eternal enmity with each other. The former will be thought something more than common people—the latter find it difficult to comply. Nickele’s and McAinsle’s join the Burns’—Lawsons fight singlehanded. Upon the whole I am inclined to hold in chiefly with the Lawsons. To be sure the Burns’s are in regard of books, better informed and the Squire as he is called is thought more of by strangers, but the other are industrious and independent, and have not near so much "envy, hatred, and malice and all uncharitableness," in them from which in the Church Litany we say "Good Lord deliver us," and I therefore am very much inclined to favour the latter as much on account of my natural hatred of these qualities in others as a disinclination I have to indulge in them myself. What I shall do however I have not determined yet—I have thought if I could get rid of my engagement I would give up at the expiration of the quarter. But I will wait a wee.—The weather has very much changed these few days back—it having been much colder than for some time previously; on the 30th May we had considerable of thaw, and it has sometimes frozen keenly in the nights—and there has been much rain in the day. People begin to be afraid that the frost much have killed much of the fruit &c.

11—June, Sunday. Still going on as usual; hear or receive nothing from England yet. Have thought something about my circumstances and prospects since my last noting. It seems to me that I shall not be able to get on to my liking here, and that I must make a fresh arrangement. This however I cannot do until I get here the wife; an event about which I am no little anxious now, but in the meantime I must think about the matter. My old mania about book selling, bookbinding, and the like, has got considerable hold of me again now; especially since I have tried my hand at binding again; I cannot but think that I could make something out of this craft yet. I have not been at Guelph yet, neither have I been at Hamilton, and it is to one of these places that I think of going if I shift into a town. Hamilton I suppose will be the best if I can make way there, and if there be but too much competition. It is near the Lake; I may want things from the States etc., and to be convenient I am aware is no little advantageous. I am short of the main thing however, and I am afraid I shall not have patience to wait until I get a hold of mine before I make another offer, and again swamp myself perhaps. I can always however turn my hand to Schoolteaching here when every other thing fails; at home, when difficulties accumulated I had no other sufficient resource. I sometimes think thus—at first I may put the wife into a sort of shop in Hamilton and I stay in the country at a School until we see how we get on. I expect she will bring a lot more books with her; and with those I have we might raise something to make a beginning with.—But I had better perhaps wait a little until I see the old gal, else I may erect a pretty fabric which she may pull about my ears. A change has taken place in the weather to-day—it is beginning to be warm and pleasant.—By the way I may observe that I have got a taste of the mosquitoes now. I went up to the village with a foal’s skin to tan for book covers on Friday evening, and the gentry feasted quite sumptuously on my hands as I passed and repassed through the woods; since then I have been exceedingly annoyed by the itching I have in consequence experienced. It seems the fellow is a rather pernicious gentleman, and thus the mere bite is by no means the worst part of his attacks. Since my rencontre with him, my hands have been covered with little hard lumps extremely itchy and troublesome, even now I am by no means relieved from my trouble, although I have applied sour cream, the remedy prescribed, to them. The thing is a long small fly, the length of an English pismire; it has wings of course, and a small proboscis with which it inflicts its wound.

Le 19 Juin—Lundi—Une autre semaine est passe. Il n’y a aucun de particulier de remarquer aujourd’hui. Je ne [sic] pas recu quelque chose de chez moi encore, ni les journaux ni les lettres, comme je le voulais, et comme on me fais croire dans la lettre je recus dernier de ma femme.—Je n’ai encore qu’un peu des ecoliers, et je ne vois pas des signes d’avoir plutot de plus.—Le people de que je suis toujours quarelle, et j’ai reson d’aller d’ici quand les six mois soient passé.— Je restais encore chez Mr. Lawson, que j’aime bien. Je pense que je fesai la table et le logement avec lui.—Il fait tres chaud maintenant—plus chaud qu’il fait en Angleterre dans cette partie de l’an.

4 Julliet.—Quinze jours se sous [sic] passes. I have not yet heard anything from home. The wife must now however be on her way here—at all events I expect to see the old lass at the latter end of this or the beginning of next month. I begin to be no little anxious about the matter now. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", etc.— nothing can be truer than this—I was perhaps never so fond of the girl as I am now, and perhaps never will be again. I’ll see however how we get on when she gets here. If she were a little more national about her religion, or perhaps a little more complying (and she will now have no one to fear) I believe I shall like the girl very well. I see no one who enters so much into my heart, whose heart beats in such unison with my own as hers, and with whom I feel I can place such implicit confidence. I suppose to be sure this is mostly a necessary consequence of the married state. However, I have seen a good many exceptions to the rule if it be one, and knowing her I have no risk to run.—The quarter is now over. On making up the diary, I find that we have had an attendance during the whole quarter of 15 21/70 so I must go on for another quarter, according to our agreement. I have not yet sent out my accounts, so don't know positively how they will be honoured; I intend to do so however to-day and will shortly see. I shall have about five pounds to receive, besides paying David Lamend for the shoes I got from him. If I can manage to work out my board with the old man I shant do very badly after all.—I must now begin to look out for another situation, as it is my intention not to winter here. After making enquiries, I learn that Waterloo, a township a few miles on the other side of Guelph, is as likely to be a good place to make it as any. It has been long settled, the people are now in easy circumstances, and it is remarkably healthy. These are considered to be about the best recommendations any place can possess here. I’ll do nothing however until I get my wife here the dear creature.

July 10. Monday. I went to Guelph on Saturday last, with John Scott. I bought a light Summer coat, a pair of trowsers of same material, and a hat coat two and a half, trowsers one and a half, and hat three dollars. I got a few glasses of beer and some whiskey and these soon got finely mixed together with the jolting of the wagon, so that I was most pleasantly drunk and helpless. I got home however with my bones whole, but with sundry bruises and remains of thumps on several parts of my body, particularly about the head with tumbling about the bottom of the wagon.—Got five dollars from Mr. Burns, nothing from any one else. Went in my new clothes to hear Mr. Armonse preach yesterday: had not been before. Have not yet heard from home: expect to do so soon now. Begun to get very anxious about the matter I suppose. The weather is now very fine and every thing looks quite promising. The hay harvesting will commence this week.

13 July. Got three Leinster Expresses yesterday, dated 27 May, 10 and 17 June; that dated 10 June containing the letter I sent to the Editor of Leinster Express in April. The letter is prefaced by a few observations of the editor, which if I had at my hand now, I would transcribe. The letter takes up near a column and a half, and as it seems to me reads very well. The two papers for June came direct from Maryborough, in accordance with a wish I expressed in the concluding part of my letter, and I expect that I shall continue to receive a paper by every post;—the other paper came from my wife; she may have sent it off on receipt of my letter, and if so I may expect to receive intelligence of her starting from Liverpool by next post.—Copy of the matter heading my letter to the Leinster Express.

24 July. Heard nothing of the coming of the wife yet. Went down to the post office on 22nd to see if there were letters or newspapers for me but got none. Was told at the post office that the Caledonia, the Steamer with the Mails from England was run aground off Boston, and that although it was expected that she would be got off, and though the mails had been got on here uninjured, a delay of a few days was still carried in consequence, otherwise I might have expected to get my letter etc. Thus I think I may confidently expect to get something in the course of this week. If some one do[es] not bring me any however, on Wednesday I intend to go down again myself on Saturday.—I have got none of my last quarter’s salary except what I got from Mr. Burns. I bound a volume of the New World for T. Burns last week for which he gave me half a dollar, and this will enable me to pay the postage of any letters I may receive, otherwise I should have been in a fine predicament, having only a quarter dollar left.—The hay harvest is now going on with all speed. The old man began last week or rather on the Friday preceding; he expects to be through with it this week. The weather has hitherto been favourable—there having been but two rainy days, those just a week apart. The hay crop is said to be better than last year. I work of course in the hay during my spare hours. I have not yet had any reckoning with my landlord yet —but intend to have when I go to meet the wife; hope I will be able to clear my board. Got a pair of harding trowsers from the old woman to-day—light for summer. Much less clothing is required here than at home at this time of the year—some days are very hot but as I am in the school during the heat of the day I do not experience much inconvenience from it.—In the New World I find a reprint of Captain Barclay’s Tour through the United States and Upper Canada, and extract from which I intend to make the ground work of a letter to the Leinster Express.

31 July. Have not yet heard of the wife. One of Lawson’s girls was down at the post office on Saturday; there were no letters for me, but she was told that there were newspapers taken with Burns for me; those I have not got yet. I fully expected to get a letter by this mail; I suppose I shall be a fortnight now before I hear anything. It is an extraordinary affair. Surely there is no mistake about the money I sent; and yet I am very much afraid there is; perhaps the Bank of Ireland may have objections to giving her more than the differences on account of our connection with the Steam Mill;—if so I don’t see how the girl could come away at all; and yet had it been so, surely she would have been able to transmit me some account of it by the last mail. Well, patience I suppose will prove all things.— The hay harvest is not yet quite over, but will be in a few days. The weather is much more regular here than at home, and the former has consequently much less rush to run in getting in his hay. We had two thundershowers last week—on Monday and Friday. Hay that is cut down to-day may be got in to-morrow, the sun being so hot that there is no more to do to it than rake it into windows, cock it and draw it in.—I am so through just now that I have very little time to read: what I do is in the school; in this way these last two weeks or so I have learned a good deal of particulars about geography before I confined myself a little too much to generalities; this I find to be a sort of fault in me; for however necessary it may be to be acquainted with the principles of any science or art, it is also requisite that a schoolmaster at least should descend to particulars. This had hitherto appeared to me a piece great drudgery, but I perseverance will enable me to overcome my reluctance to it. Astronomy too I have payed a little attention to lately.—The Lawson’s are going down to Oakville to take up some wheat, and I have sent a letter with them addressed to my wife, telling her that if when she gets there, and if she do not find me there, to come on, and leave her things. I wish the girl was here, if it were but that I may be relieved from a great deal of trouble and anxiety on her account.

August 7. Monday.—The foregoing letter with slight verbal alterations I transcribed yesterday and closed for the Leinster Express, and I expect to be able to send it down to the post on Wednesday next. I suppose it will be eight on ten weeks before I receive it back again.—I do not yet hear anything of the wife, I think however that I must hear in the course of this week, a young man from Lawson’s is going down to the post on Wednesday, and I shall see if there be anything then. If not I will try to go down myself on Saturday. I am only afraid that some accident has befallen them either at home, which is more likely, or on the way. Of this I shall feel quite sure if I do not hear this week.—I still go on pretty well with the Lawsons—I was logging with them on Saturday—this is the dirtiest job there is clearing land.—The hay harvest is all but over. Louis’ Barley has been cut but no other sort of grain is yet ready. Crops in general seem to be good. It seems to me that the Barley already cut is fully as good as it is usually.

13 August—Sunday.—Since making my last note I have entirely given up the School. For a long while I have been quite disgusted with the way in which Burns’s children have conducted themselves: on Tuesday, when they came into the School in the morning they commenced a long story to the other children about how much they disliked the School—"mother and every body saying it was no School but a play house, and father saying that what I taught them was all nonsense",—with a long string of such stuff. I of course could not stand this, and though I said not a word to the children about my intentions. I made up my mind to give up as I accordingly did in the evening. I have not yet heard that Burns has said anything about the matter, the others do not seem to be well satisfied but I offer in order that no blame may be attached to me to go on with the School until the term be up if they will make up a School without the Burns’; this however I suppose cannot be done. I want all my money for the last quarter except Burns’ and the whole for as much of this as has expired, and I don’t see well how I may gat any. Old Lawson tells me that I have well cleared myself with him, while I have been with him, and I am now working and living on with him, as at present is my intention to do until I see the wife or hear more from her. I was down at the Post Office yesterday, but got no letters—there were newspapers for me but they had just gone off with Burns’ when I got there. It is a most astonishing thing I hear nothing more of the girl, and what is perhaps the worst part of the business I cannot write to enquire an explanation. I suppose I must now wait another fortnight before I get a letter, and I suppose more after than before I see her if she write from Liverpool.—The harvest began in the lower part of the township last week, and will be quite genial about here in the beginning of next; the old man begins to-morrow. I shall be a raker and binder I expect. I was logging last week, and this is a wee thing dirty, firy and fatiguing.—The weather is very warm, there was but one small shower last week. I think a cloud is gathering now.

Aug 29—I have not yet heard anything directly from my wife, but I got a letter from my brother Will yesterday, and he tells me in it that he had communication with her and that she was to start on the 11th July. If so she will doubtless soon be here now. This letter was posted on the 1st inst. so she either did not start as she intended or she did not write from Liverpool. A week or two however will settle the matter. The letter contains a pretty got lot of particulars too numerous to enumerate now.—The harvest is pretty nearly over about here. The fall wheat is mostly in—oats, pease, spring wheat &c. are mostly to get in still.—I am still with the old man. I have the intention now of buying the 100 acres of land from him, it is situated No. 7, 2nd concession Erin.

Sept 14. Got a letter from my wife from Liverpool yesterday. She was to sail from there on the 16th August. It seems she is coming by New York. When she got to Liverpool no vessel was to come to Quebec for a fortnight—she took one to come to New York in 3 days and she had been on board 1 week and 3 days when she wrote.— She was sick after getting my letter, Dr. Jacob attended her and on no account was she to attempt to go upon the water in less than a month or two: in the meantime her mother was taken sick and died. This letter is a curious circumstance, still I half expected it. I was to write to her to New York. I don’t know well what to do. I am afraid she is out of money, and if so few dollars would be of use to her, and if I can send any without risk, I believe I will do so, otherwise I don’t see it is of use writing.

Oct 31—My wife got here on the 14th inst. Instead of there being only herself and James, there were Sally and her two children. I was no little surprised and annoyed when I saw how things were about to go with me. As I did not in the least [know] of anything of this sort, so I had not made no arrangements whatever to receive all these people, and I have since in consequence been put to no little inconvenience. For some days I hardly knew what to do. What made me the more uneasy was, when they got to Oakville they were obliged to leave most of their boxes as security for the payment of 3.0.6 pounds due for fares from New York thither. This sum would not have been swelled so much had they not allowed themselves to be swindled out of boodle at New York. I went down to Oakville on the 24th inst., and agreed that the payment of the money was to be postponed for six months on condition that I should leave a box, 83 vols. of books and two feather bolsters: and thus I am for the present a little relieved from my present difficulties.—Sally went down to Oakville with me, intending to go to Toronto and try to get into service there—she left her two children with us.—I have been jobbing about the old man’s up to now. I do not yet go upon the land in Erin, but expect either to go on to-morrow or the day after or not at all. We are living in the little house of John Scott’s now, as we intend to do until we make a house of our own. I do not attempt to conceal that a good deal of my anticipated happiness is no little sullied by the unexpected manner in which my wife has again united herself to me. I must only hope that there will be an end of all this disappointment sometime.

Private Journal beginning Nov. 12/43

Esquesing, Upper Canada

Nov. 12 1843

Have finally agreed about the land in Erin. In consequence of the winter’s having set in so early, I do not think that I shall begin operations upon it until spring. I was up a day or two, but abandoned my project of build[ing] a house for the present: I think now of taking another school: I have not yet looked out one, but think I shall go off towards Guelph and Hamilton in the beginning of next week.

I now begin to write another letter to the Express.

Dec 17—Have got my house raised in Erin—the chinks daubed and chimney partly built;—I expect it will be ready to go into in a few days. The reason why I have commenced operations upon it again after having abandoned my former project is—the snow entirely left the ground about the 23rd of last month when I went and chopped down trees and have got the house so far on. It is my intention to chop now during the winter. I have given up the idea of a school for the present.

1844

January 7

Sunday. I now begin a new year. The last year of my life has been spent in America. To repeat here the different scenes I have gone through during the past year, was it possible, would not be necessary, seems that a pretty good account of these matters is interspersed through out the preceding journals. I have had experience and this has taught me wisdom as I hope my conduct henceforth will show.—

I have again agreed to take a school, Com[mon] School District No. 10, Georgetown, Esquesing. This district offers to be a good one,—there being more scholars in it than in any other in the township except Norval. I have been all last week in managing the preliminary business, and only got it finally settled last night. The following is a statement of my proceedings as afar as they have yet gone.

The other trustee—Morris Kennedy not being there at the time his signature is not yet appended. The school is to begin to-morrow week. I have particularly desired that the trustees attend on the first of opening, as it is my intention on that occasion to propose some regulations for the internal management of the school, accompanied with some remarks illustrative of the propositions:—The following is a rough plan of my intention on the occasion referred to.

January 31.—Went on with the school on the 13th inst. Have done pretty well—think I shall have regular attendance of more than thirty scholars. I have not yet heard how the people like me but I think I shall give general satisfaction. I manage the school much more to my liking than I did the other one. I am still living by J. Scott’s. When we shall leave I do not know. We were to leave last Thursday; but when the time came round, my lady was for taking her brats down with her.—I could not allow this, so now we are to stop until the children are got down to their mother. I was never so bothered with anything as I am with the blunders of my wife as she called herself. It will be well for her perhaps if she does not set me entirely against her.—I do not hear anything more from my brother; and as I take it to be time I am now setting about writing another letter to him.

March 24, 1844.—I transcribed the above with some little verbal suppressions and expansions about three weeks since and after adding a good deal more stuff which I did feel inclined to put myself to the trouble of transcribing I sent it off. I have not heard a syllable about my brother since I got his letter in August last.—We removed down to Georgetown on Saturday the 9th inst. We are living in a room of Mr. Morris Kennedy’s house. I do not see however that we like here either very well.—I have now not so many scholars as I had—not quite thirty regularly. It is likely however that the number will increase a little when the weather moderate[s], and the roads get better. Since I came down I have found a couple of book[s] for Mr. Young the storekeeper, and I expect I shall get some more not only from him but some others; if I can do so, the thing will assist me a bit.—I got half a dozen new chairs yesterday from Mr. Travers, value 1.6.3 pounds currency, for which I gave a note to be paid on or before the 12th July next. Besides these I got a bed from Mr. Kennedy which is to be paid for in schooling the children. The first quarter of our schooling will be over in about three weeks. I have not got anything more than what I have mentioned yet.—The time at which I was to release the books from bond at Oakville draws nigh, and I must get as much money from the scholars as will pay this debt.—I saw a fellow from Thomsonville in the States where a considerable establishment of carpet making is carried on, and I promised to prepare a letter for him to take for me to the agent on his return, to see whether it would be possible for me to get work at sorting there or no. I do not know yet whether I’ll write or no.

•      •      •

On my 33nd birthday.

12 Dec., 1845. J.N.