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YOUR HOME AND MINE
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YOUR HOME AND MINE

H
A
R
O
L
D

S.

W
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The MUSSON BOOK COMPANY Ltd., TORONTO
1     9     3     2
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[illustration: MUSSON
MADE IN CANADA]

SECOND EDITION
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TO EILEEN AND FRED
With their father’s best wishes this
little volume is affectionately dedicated.
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CONTENTS

		PAGE
ANGEL CAKE		76
BEST OF THE BARGAIN		88
BILLY TELLS A STORY		46
BOY O’MINE		18
BRAVEST MAN ON EARTH, THE		90
BUMBLE BEE		77
BUSY DAYS		80
CHASING THE GARDENER		49
DREAMIN’ DAYS		74
FAILURES, THE		36
FISHIN’ SEASON		58
FRIENDSHIP		26
GAME OF LIVING, THE		82
GIRLS		20
GOD GUIDE THEE CANADA		13
GOLDEN PAST, THE		50
GOOD BOY, THE		69
“GOOD FISHING” KEEP OUT		70
HEAVEN		32
HOLD OUT YOUR HAND		28
HUNTIN’		34
IT WOULDN’T BE LIKE CHRISTMAS		60
KING OF THE NIGHT, THE		15
LAND OF WINK, THE		16
LITTLE MR. ADVENTURER		38
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LUCK		44
LULLABY TIME		78
ON THE RIVER BANK		86
ONCE I FORGOT		42
OVER A COT	31
PA’S JOB	84
PEEKIN’	64
PLEASANT AFTERNOON, A	72
RAINDROPS	95
“SANDY CLAWS”	24
SLEEP LITTLE BABE	59
SOMEONE’S MOTHER	66
THEY’RE NEVER SATISFIED	92
THINKING THINGS	52
TO A MOTHER	40
VISITOR, THE	68
WHAT EVERY HUSBAND KNOWS	48
WHEN THE ROBINS START A-SINGING	22
WINTER’S TREASURES	62
WISHES	56
WORLD AND MAN, THE	54
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YOUR HOME AND MINE
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God Guide Thee Canada

GOD guide thee, Canada! From coast to coast
May honor, truth, and right be yours to boast,
May every daughter reared beneath your sky 
Crush hatred underfoot, raise courage high, 
And when above a tiny cot they stand
And croon to future builders of this land 
Within their hearts shall not be born the seed
Of envy or of malice or of greed, 
But rather shall be born that love of life
That moulds a mighty nation free from strife. 
God guide thee, Canada! 

God guide thee, Canada! May those who bled 
To lift thee from the regions of the dead, 
Look down from where they dwell and may they see
A nation proud and fearless, bold and free, 
And, in those mystic regions of the dawn, 
May peace be theirs to know we carried on,
To know we have not failed them in their trust,
To know their bodies only are of dust, 
To know their spirits live in us again.
To know they lived and suffered not in vain. 
God guide thee, Canada! [page 13] 

God guide thee, Canada! For evermore
May virtues of His Son stand at your door.
May all your homes be builded true and strong; 
May every soul within them live in song; 
May your vast acres yield to those brave men
Whose toil is more with nature than with pen;
May those within your cities walk their roads
With shoulders strong and strength to bear their loads, 
So that, when darkness falls and day is done
These words shall come from every living son, 
God guide thee, Canada! [page 14]

The King of the Night 

THE wind is the breath of giant king
   Who lives in the distant sky,
And the moon we see when we go to bed
Is his ever-watching eye.

The stars all about him aren’t really stars,
   But lanterns his brownies light, 
So that he may watch from his lofty throne
   And guard us all through the night. 

At times, when the dragons of night steal down
   On a thunder cloud of rain, 
I can hear him roaring across the skies
And chasing them home again.

On nights like that I just lie in my bed
   And pull all the covers tight, 
And sometimes think what would happen to me 
   If ever he lost the fight. 

And if I am frightened as anything
   I will peek outside to see, 
But he always winks with his one big eye
   And roars: “This is fun for me.” [page 15]

The Land Of Wink 

LAST night just ’fore I went to bed
   I sat on daddy’s knee 
An’ he ’xplained all about a land 
Fer little boys like me, 
Where at the gate, ’fore you go in 
   A sign reads, “Please keep out 
If you’re afraid of old King Fun 
   Coz he reigns all about. 
No ’rithmeticerspellin’ books
Er things what makes boys think
Are ’lowed to come in here becoz
   This is the ‘Land of Wink’.
An’ if yer fond of choklit bars
Er things what’s good to eat, 
Just shake the trees an’ they will come 
A tumbling at yer feet.
An’ if yerfeelin’ extra good 
   An’ want to shout er sing, 
Just open up yer mouth an’ yell
As loud as anything.”
Nen after daddy was all through 
   He laughed an’ hugged me tight, 
An’ said, “How would you like to go 
   And visit there to-night?”
If you’re in bed by eight o’clock
   (And it’s fifteen to) 
The king of all that wonderland 
   Will stop and call for you.” [page 16]
In course I said, “I’ll hurry, then, 
Er maybe I’ll be late
An’ if I am, perhaps the king
   Won’t stand around an’ wait.” 
Nen pretty soon I was in bed
   And closed up both my eyes
Nen ’fore I knowed what happened, 
   He came sailin’ from the skies. 
An’ stopped beside my bed an’ nen
   He tooked me by the hand
An’ nen before I knowed it, we
Was right inside ‘Wink Land’.
An’ when I looked around I felt 
   As happy as could be
Coz I was standin’ right beneath 
A great big candy tree.
So I climbed up an’ shook an’ shook 
   Until most all around 
Was choklit bars and different things 
A-layin’ on the ground.
An’ nen I started comin’ down 
An’ thinkin’hard, oh gee, 
Wait ’till the fellers hear of this
   Won’t they wish they was me.
But just before I reached the ground
I slipped and bumped my head. 
Nen, gosh, gee whiz, I woked an’ found
   I’d falled right out of bed. [page 17]

Boy o’ Mine 

BOY o’ mine as through the halls you race
With joyous shouts of wonderment and glee
I watch you at your play and as I watch
I dream a dream and give this pray’r for thee. 

I pray that when my earthly toil is done
And I am called to greet the mystic dawn 
That rises in the realm of things unseen
I shall have helped you, son, to “carry on”. 

I’d like to think that I shall stand in peace
And with a smile look on the yesterday 
And see no strangled blooms to mar your view
From seeds that I have planted on the way.

For when those eyes of yours look into mine
They boast of faith in ev’rything I do 
They see no worldly taint of selfish greed
For I—I am the perfect man to you. 

This is your childhood, son, the man within 
Is being moulded now from day to day.
What must I do?  For in that mould I see
The most important parts are mine to play. [page 18]

I must keep faith and strive each passing hour 
To do the things your trusting tells me to 
For hate and greed or kindliness and love
Shall live to live again, my son, in you. [page 19]

Girls 

HUH, I think girls is funny things, 
I’d ruther be clean dead
Than go ’round lookin’ like they look 
With long hair on my head.

Ergo ’round kissin’ baby dolls
An’ lettin’ on they bawl 
An’ talkin’ to them like they knowed
W’en they don’t know at all!

An’ stickin’ ’em in carriages
An’ walkin’ on the street
An’ showin’ off by goin’ slow 
Past everyone they meet. 

An’ havin’ parties in the yard
With cups that they can’t see
An’ lettin’ on there’s fairies there
An’ they are havin’ tea, 

W’en all they got is bread an’ jam 
Er crackers an’ some cake. 
Huh, I think girls should all be throwed
Out into some big lake. [page 20]

They ain’tno good to anyone, 
They don’t know how to fight, 
An’ they’re afraid to stay alone
Becozit’s dark at night. 

They never fought a pirut yet 
Ner killed a giant king 
Ner played cowboys an’ Indians—
They’re scairt of everything. 

Yes, sir, I think they’re funny things, 
They shouldn’t never be 
Except fer very speshul times
Like breakfast, dinner, tea. [page 21]

When the Robins Start a-Singing

YESTERDAY I stood and listened to a mighty welcome tune
And it started me to dreaming of those sunny days in June, 
When the earth comes out of hiding and the blossoms on the trees
Start a-giving out their nectar to the busy little bees. 

And the chickens in the barnyard are a-scratching up the ground
While the pigs are busy grunting and a-nosing all around, 
And the air is full of chuckles from the sparrer to the jay 
And the sun goes down a-fighting at the ending of the day. 

Oh it brought back scenes of childhood and I roamed knee-deep again
Through the fields of scented clover with a piece of willow cane
And a bent pin for a fishhook and some sack cord for a line, 
While a-poking round for groundhogs was that good old dog o’ mine. [page 22]

Kinda started me to thinking just how grateful I should be
To the maker of this universe for all He’s given me; 
For it’s night on 60 years I’ve been a worker of the sod
And it makes a fellar ’preciate the wonders of his God .

Oh, I’m thankful for these hands of mine and for these eyes to see
And I’m thankful for the health and strength the good Lord gave to me, 
An’ I’m—well I’m mighty thankful for these ears of mine to hear
When the robins come to tell me that summertime is near. [page 23]

“Sandy Claws”

SWELLEST feller that I know 
Lives just like an’ Eskimo 
Leaves up there an’ comes down here
Soon as Christmas time gets near, 
Has long whiskers on his face
Growin’ nearly ev’ry place, 
Allus has a great big sack 
Filled with good things on his back, 
Guns an’ trains an’ hockey sticks
Skates an’ puzzles, wagons, tricks, 
Carriages an’ dolls fer girls, 
Brooms an’ mops an’ strings of pearls. 
Wears a suit of reddest red, 
Redder than my pal’s red head.
Has big shoes most to his knees, 
Likes us fellers to say please, 
Won’t bring anything to us
If we fight er make a fuss
Watches us most night an’ day 
In the school an’ at our play, 
Jest to make sure an’ to see
We’re as good as good can be, 
So I never tease the girls
Chase ’em home an’ pull their curls, 
Allus say, “Yes sir” to paw, 
Allus act polite to Maw, [page 24]
Even kiss my Auntie Grace
With the awf’lest sour face, 
Allus sit in church just so
Put the cent where it should go, 
Get his slippers fer my paw
Bring the firewood up fer maw, 
Never say when it comes night, 
“Look outside maw it’s still light,” 
Do my homework now instead, 
Nen get right off up to bed. 
Yes sir, though he makes life hard, 
Sandy sure is one great pard. 
Hope it snows real hard this year
So’s he’s sure to come ’round here,
Gosh he come last year an’ gee
Though he left a lot fer me
They was busted in a day
Coz paw started in to play
An’ since then my train won’t run, 
Can’t shoot with my target gun, 
After he was through, why gee
They was nothin’ left fer me, 
But I got a friend in maw
Coz she said real mad to paw, 
“When he comes around this year
Don’t dare touch the toys, you hear?” 
An’ I know when she gits mad 
Paw don’t dassent act up bad
So fer sure this year I know
My toys won’t be busted so. [page 25]

Friendship 

TRUE friendship is a sacred thing
   That’s built up with the years, 
That’s dipped in many joys of life 
And bathed in many tears.

You cannot find it in an hour
   And build it in a day, 
You’ve got to search through starless nights
   It’s nurtured just that way. 

You cannot buy it with your gold
   Nor bribe it with your smile, 
You’ve got to prove your worth to it
   And prove it every mile. 

You’ve got to climb life’s hills with it
   And sometimes on the road
You’ve got to cheerfully respond 
   And bear another’s load. 

You’ve got to pass a thousand faults
   And never see them there, 
You’ve got to trudge the valleys deep
And cheer when you despair. [page 26]

You’ve got to sift the secret things
   From out the grate of years, 
For friendship true can never live 
   Where there are hidden fears. 

All this you’ve got to do and more
   If some time you would say, 
I know of one whose heart beats true
   Let come whatever may. 

Let other scorn at my mistakes
   And bruise me with their jeers, 
Let others taunt me in defeat
And coldly view my tears. 

I care not what they say of me 
   For I can feel the hand
Of one at least whose grip is firm
   Whose heart will understand.

And well I know that up the road 
   Until the journey’s end, 
Upon my right I’ll always feel, 
The presence of a friend. [page 27]

Hold Out Your Hand 

SOME fellers think they’re awful brave becoz in bed at night
They never shiver ‘neath the sheets when their maw turns the light 
An’ leaves them upstairs all alone with all that darkness brings 
Like bogey men an’ piruts fierce an’ most a billyun things
But say I’ll bet I know a time when they would shake, I do 
No matter if their real best girl was lookin’ at ’em too
Know when that is?  It’s when the teacher fierce as fierce says, “Stand
This hurts me more than this hurts you,” an’ then “Hold 
Out 
Your
Hand!”

Huh! There ain’tnothin’ worser in this world that I can see
Dark night?Huh they ain’tnothin’ they’re just pie fer men like me
Why wunst know when I laughed real loud?  One night I heard a bang! [page 28]
An’ nen I heard a deep voice say, “Goodnight, Gee Whiz” and “Hang,” 
An’ even though it was my paw who made the noise, I bet
If any girl had heart it she’d be shoutin’ murder yet
Yes sir, I’d ruther face the worsest burglar in the land 
Than see the teacher standin’ near an’ hear “Hold 
Out 
Your
Hand!”

I’d ruther face the fiercest kind of pirut yes I would
Ertake a billyunlickens from my ma when I ain’t good
I think I’d ruther even have my dad take hold of me 
An’ take the belt what holds him up an’ lay me cross his knee
I’d ruther be in Africa where canninballs all whoop
In fact I think I’d ruther have them make me into soup
Than have to wait an’ wait an’ shake to beat the band
Then have a human look at me an’ growl, “Hold 
Out 
Your
Hand!”

Huh, preacher preaches Sunday that we’re brothersev’ryone
An’ ma an’ pa keep tellin’ folks they love their little son 
An’ aunty says there ain’tno one in all the world like me [page 29]
An’ Grandma says I’m just the swellest feller that there be 
An’ Grandpa calls me ‘Little Man’ an’ pats me on the head
An’ EVERYBODY kisses me when I go up to bed
But gee THAT doesn’t help me when purspiring I stand
An’ hear that awful sentence passed,     “ Alright, 
                                                                      Hold 
Out 
Your
Hand!” [page 30]

Over a Cot

“AN’ God bless daddy too,” he said, 
As he prepared himself for bed.
“An’ let me grow up big, an’ then
Make me as good as him.   Amen”. 

I gazed in silence on my son
He did not know what he had done. 
He’d brought to light within my soul
A broken vow, a hidden goal.

In simple faith to God Divine
He’d prayed his life would be as mine: 
“An’ let me grow up big, an’ then
Make me as good as him.   Amen”. 

I lightly kissed the tousled hair
And breathed a long forgotten pray’r.
And added this—let live in me
The man my boy would have me be. [page 31]

Heaven

WHEN picturing heaven 
   I think of a street
Where world-weary mothers
   In peacefulness meet.

It boasts of a mansion 
   That angels above
Have builded with happiness 
   Furnished with love.

Its pillars are moulded
   From virtues of life, 
Its servants are masters
   Of care and of strife.

Its grounds a rose garden
   In beauty so fair, 
There’s nothing we mortals 
   Have seen can compare. 

Each rose is perfection 
   For into the sod
The first sparks of life
   Were caresses from God. [page 32]

Oh, that is the heaven 
   In musings I see, 
The heaven of mothers
   Contented and free. 

No lines mar their beauty, 
   No care dims their skies, 
The roses reflect but
   A song in their eyes.

While tenderly watching 
   From high on His throne
A kind God rejoices 
   To call them His own! [page 33]

Huntin’

GEE, when it’s rainin’ hard outside I have a lot of fun, 
I hurry to the attic with my trusty jungle gun
An’ get in some dark corner ’til I see a big fierce bear, 
An’ then I shoot him dead afore he see me hidin’ there. 
But, dragons, they is diff’rent, huh, there’s nothin’ they can’t see
’Coz onct I went shoot one an’ he stood an’ laughed at me, 
An’ fire it spouted from his mouth an’ eyes, an ears an’ nose. 
(My daddy said they eat boys up an’ I guess daddy knows.) 

An’ course I didn’t know that then, else you’d of not ketched me 
A tryin’ to fight dragons— things as fierce as them things be, 
I shot him through the heart a dozen times, an’ through the head; 
But still he stood an’ grinned at me, I couldn’t kill him dead. 
Then, gee, he started comin’ right toward my hidin’ place, 
An’ I got awful scared an’ shot the gun right in his face. 
But still he kept on comin’ so I throwed away my gun, 
An’ hurried down the attic stairs as fast as I could run. [page 34]

An’ when I told Ma what I fought, an’ how it wouldn’t die, 
She said: “That’s what you get, my boy, for swiping apple pie.
You must have gone to sleep a bit while you washidin’ there
An’ when that pie began to work you had a bad nightmare.” 
So now when I get out my gun, I just look at the pie
An’ take a breath an’ turn my head an’ then I hurry by, 
Because if I don’t bother it, I know for sure that when
I got to hunt in jungle land I won’t meet HIM again. [page 35]

The Failures 

THEIR numbers are many, the failures we greet, 
And this is their story whenever we meet:
“We haven’t a chance, for the world isn’t fair, 
It’s pull and not thinking that gets a man there; 
They never choose brains but the jobs always go 
To those who are lucky and in on the show.”

The way to get boosts in your sal’ry, they say, 
Is “Yes Sir” and “No Sir” each hour of the day,
And live ev’ry minute without thought of pride, 
Not offer ideas but keep them inside, 
“For if you’re not willing to play to the boss
Then write out your chances to ‘Profit and Loss’.” 

Whenever I meet men who feel as they do, 
I stop and I ask them a question or two: 
“These men whom you envy, these men who have ‘pull’
When first they were born were their coffers so full?
How many were born with their present estate?
How many were born in the halls of the great?” [page 36]

Not many have climbed to the place here they are
But first stepped a hart road, a hard road and far, 
The trouble with you is you stand on life’s road, 
And think that your shoulders have all of the load. 
You haven’t yet learned that the troubles you meet
Are enemies each man who climbs must defeat.

Oh, he is not born who can saunter along
With envious dreams of the fast-moving throng, 
With eyes that are glued to the pavement below, 
With steps that are heavy and shiftless and slow, 
And hope to climb mountains, for mountains are steep
And landslides are many and valleys are deep. 

If you would succeed, then, stand firm in your place
And greet Old Man Hurt with a grin on your face!
Don’t grumble to others of work that’s unfair, 
But say to yourself: “I must carry my share.” 
The man never lived who succeeded with sighs 
The victor is he who keeps grinning and TRIES. [page 37]

Little Mr. Adventurer

AS soon as I have said my pray’rs
And mother’s kissed good-night, 
I shut my eyes and hide my head
Beneath the covers on my bed
And lie there out of sight. 

Sometimes I visit fairyland
And play that I am king, 
And all the elves and nymphs I see 
Take off their hats and bow to me, 
Polite as anything.

One night when I had said my pray’rs
And ev’rything was still, 
I heard the faintest knock, knock, knock 
(Much fainter than our kitchen clock) 
Upon my window sill, 

And I thought, “Now, I wonder what 
That knocking sound can be?
Perhaps it is a princess fair 
And some fierce dragon has her there
And she is calling me.” [page 38]

And so I drew my golden sword 
And held it ’way up high 
And said: “If there’s a dragon near
Then he had better run from here
Or he will surely die.” 

But hardly had I said that when 
I wished I hadn’t, ’cause
I heard a growling everywhere
And then a great big grizzly bear
Was reaching out his claws.

And I got frightened ’cause I know
That bears are special bad, 
And so I buried up my head
With all the covers on my bed
And cried out to my dad.

And when that bear heard me call HIM
He stopped and said, “Dear me, 
I think I’ll say good-by to you. 
I’ve lots and lots of work to do; 
Besides I’m late for tea.” [page 39]

To a Mother

THE good Lord plucked a rosebud from the heaven’s garden fair, 
And kissed the tiny petals that were sleeping in it there.
And as He kissed it tenderly, He breathed upon each part
Until within its lovely breast was born a human heart. 

At dawn, when all the earth was still, an angel quickly sped
From out the gates of heaven with a halo ’round her head,
Close to her breast a precious gift from Him who reigned above;
Upon her lips a song was heard, a song of mother love. 

At dawn a new-made mother wept; her tears were tears of joy, 
For by her side that precious rose was now her precious boy. 
Gone was her pain that she had known, forgotten were the fears; 
That tiny treasure sleeping there was worth a mother’s tears; [page 40]

While over her in thankfulness a man stood silent there, 
And kissed the brow now free from pain and soothed the ruffled hair; 
And then together, hand in hand, they raised their eyes above, 
And emptied out their hearts to God for His great gift of love. [page 41]

Once I Forgot

THE other day at breakfast I was thinkin’, gosh, heck, gee, 
I’ll bet the man what first made schools was never young like me! 
An’ Pa was drinkin’ coffee with the paper ’fore his face,
On ’count of havin’ arguments with my big sister Grace, 
When suddenly Ma spoke to him an’ said, “My dear, to-night
I wish you’d beat our rugs a bit, they’re such an awful sight.” 

Then Pa looked up at me an’ said, “When I was just a boy 
And so I think you’d better spend an hour or two to-day
In putting muscles on your arms and chasing dust away. 
And that is only justice, son, because you own the feet
That cover up the carpets with the dirt from off the street. [page 42]

An’ I thought, gee, hurrah, that’s great, (becoz, you see, I knew
That if I stayed at home I couldn’t be at lessons too); 
An’ so I said, “Now ain’t that queer. I guess I’m like you, Pa, 
Coz I am awful fond of beatin’ carpets up for Ma.” 
An’ he just laughed (a funny laugh) an’ said, “My boy, that’s fine. 
Now just for that before I leave I’ll put them on the line.” 

Well, I worked all that mornin’ just as hard as I could work, 
An’ never even took a little minute off to shirk; 
An’ soon as I was finished, now, I thought, I’ll wait and see
The fellows goin’ back to school and wishin’ they was me. 
An’ while I sat there waitin’, Ma yelled out, “Don’t run away, 
For dinner will be early since TO-DAY is SATURDAY.” [page 43]

Luck 

BECAUSE old father luck passed by 
   And turned his nose up in the air
And seemed to look you through and through
And didn’t even see you there.

Is that good cause to spend your day
   In moaning of your bitter fate, 
In shaking out your fist at him
   And shouting loudly words of hate?

Does that give cause for pausing now
   And raising up your voice to cry 
That life is filled with hurt and woe
   To all the crowds as they pass by?

If so then I would like to say 
   That there is something wrong with you 
For luck is always searching ’round 
   For men that can and men that do.

Luck only passes those whose eyes
   Are looking at the ground below
Whose minds are careless to success
   Whose ways are shiftless, dull and slow. [page 44]

For luck is but a quicker way
   To say, the fruits of hard fought years
The fruits of endless hours of thought
   The fruits of pain and hurt and tears.

Oh it is kind to many men 
’Tis kind to those who understand 
Who watch for it and when it comes
   Reach out and grasp it by the hand. 

Oh yes, I know that there are men
   Who never try but seem to do 
But in the halls of wealth and fame
   They number but a very few. 

The greatest list is that of those
   Who hung on tight through thick and thin
Whose “luck” was years of thinking things
   Whose aides in life were “work” and “grin”. [page 45]

Billy Tells a Story 

NOW wunst, most near a week ago, 
They was a boy named Bill
A sittin’ on a kitchen chair
Beside the window sill, 
An’ he was waitin’ fer his Mums
To finish awful quick
The cake that she was bakin’ so’s
He’d get the spoons to lick, 
When suddenly he thought, “Gee whiz!
Suppose the doorbell rings
An’ Mums leaves me alone in here
With all them real good things; 
Ers’posin’ that a burglar comes 
An’ says, ‘Well!well! well! well!
My fav’riteicin’, Madam! Yum! 
I think I’ll stay for a spell; 
Now neither of you move an inch, 
Er if you do I’ll shoot; 
Now bring me over them there spoons
Or else you’ll feel my boot; 
An’ bring me over that there bowl; 
An’ here, hang up my hat, 
An’ if you don’t, see this here gun 
I’ll shoot you dead with that.” 
An’ Billy thought, “Now s’posin’ I 
Looked fierce as fierce could be 
An’ said (real loud like Ma to Pa) 
‘Huh! don’t say that to me; [page 46]
Now get right up an’ out real quick 
You good-fer-nuthin’, you, 
An’ don’t come in this kitchen here
When there is work to do; 
An’ s’posin’ that the burglar runned
Clean out an’ down the street 
An’ss’posin’, then, Mums turns an’ says, 
‘Oh, Willie you’re so sweet; 
Now if you like just sit right down
An’ eat this icing up 
An’ I’ll mix more for this here cake
Into another cup!’ ”
An’ all the time he thought these thoughts 
Beside the window sill
He was the gladdest boy there is 
That is, he was until
He heart the door-bell ring an’ nen
His mums said, “Deary me, 
I s’pose that’s Mrs. Gadabout
To say ‘Hello’ to me.
Now listen to your mother, dear, 
If you would like to taste
The icing on these spoons just put
This apron ’round your waist, 
An’ clean those pots an’ pans for me
An’ see you do them right
For I’m afraid she’ll talk an’ talk 
Till supper-time to-night.”
An’ so that proves the things you dream 
Is pleasanter by far
Than things that really happen an’ 
Than things that really are. [page 47]

What Every Husband Knows 

WHEN the shadows of evening are falling 
   And the sun faintly glows in the west
And your wife is away on vacation
   Tell me, friend, can you peacefully rest?

When you slowly stroll out t’ward the kitchen 
   And you turn on the tap for a drink, 
Do you sing that your wife’s in the country 
When your eyes see the china-filled sink.

Or while sitting alone in the parlor
   And just hopelessly gazing about
At the dust on the chairs and the tables
   Tell me, friend, do you joyously shout?

When the laughter of children is only 
   A reminder of sweet yesterday 
(And sob sisters sing on the radio) 
   Are you really so glad they’re away?

That’s the fix many men are now caught in, 
   And if any one thinks it’s a joke 
He had better not venture giggle
   Or I’ll seize his old windpipe and choke. [page 48]

Chasing the Gardener

I’D like to be a lion, 
   And roar about the park
And chase the surly gard’ner, 
   It would be such a lark. 

I’d chase him through the shrubb’ry, 
   And through the lovely beds
With all the diff’rentflowers
   In blues and whites and reds.

I’d take him by the trousers
   And swing him in the air, 
And bounce him on the thistles, 
   And bounce him ev’rywhere. 

And then when I got tired
   I’d let him down and say, 
“That’s what you get for chasing 
   The little boys at play.” [page 49]

The Golden Past

DEEP in the heart of ev’ry man there lives 
   A golden treas’ry of the used-to-be, 
When boyhood like a tiny mountain stream 
   Was sweeping on to manhood’s distant sea.

And often when the nymphs of twilight come
   To lullaby the elves of light away, 
Man finds them wooing fairies of the past
   And opening the doors to yesterday. 

To-night I wander knee-deep in the joys
   That once were mine, and once again I view
A certain place back in a little town. 
   A certain boy, a sun, and skies of blue.

The place? Perhaps you’ve guessed—a schoolroom plain. 
   The town? I’ll let you choose that for yourself. 
The time? When summer holidays are near, 
   The certain boy? I was the little elf. 

The lesson was geography and I 
   Enjoyed that lesson more than I can say 
Because the schoolma’am did not stop me when 
   I placed that book of mine a certain way. [page 50]

And all the while the schoolma’am read aloud
   And told of certain lines that we must learn, 
I sailed a thousand roadways of the sea
   And watched a thousand pirates writhe and burn.

I roamed through distant lands, a knight of old; 
   I stalked the hungry lion to his lair; 
I forced a giant king to cry “enough” 
   And scowled to death a great man-eating bear.

I saved the girl I loved from certain death 
   When all the town was swept with smoke and flame, 
Was proudly feted by the May’r that night
   And for reward my sweetheart changed her name. 

Oh, monstrous friendly book, Geography! 
   How many many times you’ve shaded well 
A tousled head that bobbed in battle heat
   While roaming boyhood’s trails in magic spell.

Perhaps I would have been much wiser now
   If you had not been quite so large, old friend, 
But what I lost in learning I have gained 
   In dreams that shall be cherished to the end. [page 51]

Thinking Things 

IF I had a lamp like Aladdin’s
Know something I think I would do?
I’d get out my gun from the attic
And get out my pirate suit too. 

And when mother called in the morning
To dress me for school, I would say, 
“I think I will change to a pirate 
And not go to school, mums, today.” 

And then I would call to the fairies 
And when they came down from the sky
I’d say to my mother, “Don’t worry!” 
And then I would kiss her goodbye. 

I’d visit the African jungle 
Where elephants fierce as can be
And lions and tigers go searching 
For food, when it’s time for their tea. 

I’d visit the teachers that teach me
And challenge them out for a duel
Then change them again into children
And make them go right back to school. [page 52]

I’d visit the store at the corner
The one with the candies inside
And when Mister Smith came to serve me
I’d change to a candy and hide. 

Then after he’d given up searching
I’d change to a pirate once more, 
And while he was serving some people
I’d eat ev’ry sweet in the store. 

And then when the sandman came calling
And all was real quiet and still, 
I’d change to a bird like the robin
And ’light on my own window-sill. 

And then I would sing to my mother
And then when she’d look up to see, 
My, wouldn’t she laugh when she found out
That poor little robin was me! [page 53]

The World and Man 

THE world is cruel to the man who whines
Who moans of his heavy load
Who lifts his head but to howl his grief
As he sulks along the road.

It does not care for the man you dream
That in future you might be
It is only what you are that counts
And the way you sail the sea. 

It will not cry if you miss the train
It has something more to do 
It is busy caring for those on time
In seeing them safely through.

It worries not at your petty strifes
At the reasons why you shirk 
It’s hand is not to be the jealous man 
Who grumbles of unfair work.

Oh no, for a thousand years and one
It has held the judgement seat
And gave this council to those who came 
And crowded about it’s feet. [page 54]

If you should fail with your goal in view 
Then bow not your head in shame
Nor cry aloud of your bitter fate
For to fail is but part of the game.

There is no failure without a win
No vict’ry without defeat
And you must learn that the spice of life
Is bitter as well as sweet.

I move with time and I cannot wait 
Though my heart may bleed for you 
I must be ever upon my way 
Up front with the men that do. 

With the men who failed but failing gained
Oh that is where I must be
So go ye forth with your courage high 
And brighten the way for me. [page 55]

Wishes

WISHT I was a millyunaire,
Wisht I was a king, 
Wisht I owned a candy store
An’ a ’lastic sling.
Wisht that there would be a fire
In our school some day
Wisht I had a thousand years
Fer a holiday.

Wisht I grow up big like pa
When I am a man
’Stead o’ takin’ after ma’s 
Little brother Dan.
Wisht I owned a hundred dogs, 
Wisht I owned a zoo, 
Wisht that there had never been
Homework fer to do.

Wisht I never smoked pa’s pipe
Yesterday, because
It’s the powerfullest thing
Ever is er was. 
Wisht that I could lick Bill Jones, 
Wisht I owned a gun, 
Wisht ma wouldn’t get so mad 
When I’m havin’ fun. [page 56]

But the most important wish 
That I wanna make
Is to sleep right up ’till June
So’s that when I wake, 
I will see the birds an’ bees
Nosin’ in the sun, 
An’ that wish is speshul coz
Schooldays will be done. [page 57]

Fishin’ Season 

OLD nature’s singin’ songs to me
   That fill my heart with cheer; 
The streams are back to normal size, 
   The fishin’ season’s here. 

The trout are wide awake again, 
   The bass are full of fight, 
And ev’rything is pointin’ to 
   A summer of delight.

The loafers at the corners now
   All sit around and chin
About the ten pound bass they caught 
   That slipped back in agin. 

The checker boards are put away 
   For nights are warm and clear, 
And checker interest is gone—
   The fishin’ season’s here. [page 58]

Sleep Little Babe

SLEEP, little babe, for the sandman is calling, 
   Beckoning you to the sweet land of dreams
Up in the heavens where other wee babies
   Watch for you, dear, midst the moon’s brightest beams. 

Playing at games with the angels and fairies, 
   Sailing on clouds as they drift through the skies, 
Pausing to rest on the stars that are brightest, 
   Then sailing onward with bright laughing eyes.

Sleep, for the evening of life’s slowly stealing
   When dreams will be, dearest baby o’mine, 
Roses of yesterday faded within you
   Leaving you nothing but memory’s vine.

Sleep, little babe, for the sandman is calling, 
   Beckoning you to the sweet land of dreams, 
Up in the heavens where other wee babies
   Watch for you, dear, midst the moon’s brightest beams. [page 59]

It Wouldn’t Be Like Christmas

DEAR Santy Claws:—
                                        I’m Teddy
What wrote you yesterday,
But since that time dear Santy
I’se got lots more to say. 

Becoz I only told you 
The toys to bring—an’ gee, 
It wouldn’t be like Christmas
If that’s all I would see.

I’d like some ChocklitSoljers
An’ great big lolypops, 
An’ barley-sticks an’ ’cream cones, 
With candy on the tops.

An’ I would like some grabags
An’ popcorn bags—an’ please, 
Dear Santy Claws put in a prize 
Too big fer babe to squeeze.

An’—let me see—some jelly beans 
An’ make them mostly black
So’s I can play I’m chewin’ 
Like my big Uncle Jack. [page 60]

An’ don’t ferget some sugar-canes
With colors ev’rywhere, 
Big as the ones at barber shops
Where barbers cut yer hair.

Except of course not just like them
Coz wunst I tasted one 
An’ it was awful, Santy Claws
An’ you know what I done?

I nearly broke off all my teeth
An’ ’sides my daddy said
He knowed a boy who ate one wunst
An’ it near killed him dead. 

An’ now it’s bedtime Santy Claws
An’ so I’ll say goodbye, 
An’ I will be a real good boy 
An try an’ try an’ try. [page 61]

Winter’s Treasures

WHEN Autumn days are over
   And the north winds blow
And mother earth is bedded
   ’Neath her robes of snow; 

When trees are robbed of beauty 
   And their gaunt limbs sigh
To slumbering Apollo
   In the gray dark sky; 

My heart begins a yearning
   And my thoughts to stray
O’er the highways I wandered
   In the yesterday.

I hear the merry laughter
   Of the long ago 
As we gazed through the windows
   At the falling snow. 

I hear the ringing sleighbells
   On the Deacon’s horse
And itch to throw a snowball 
   In a straight true course. [page 62]

I feel the tingling coldness
   On my nose again
From frosted wonder castles
   On the window pane.

Oh, if you’re feeling lonesome
   For the summer breeze, 
Or the beauty of springtime
   On the bare-limbed trees.

Just find the key to childhood, 
   Open wide the door, 
There’s a sure tonic waiting
   Labelled “Days of Yore.”

For nothing keeps a fellow 
   Looking young and spry 
Like wandering the pathways
   Of the days gone by. [page 63]

Peekin’ 

AIN’T no use in talkin’
I have lots of fun
Hidin’ in the parlor
When the supper’s done.
Playin’ jokes on sister
An’ her boy friend Jim, 
Wait until they snuggle
An’ the lights are dim. 

When they start their kissin’, 
An’ he calls her “dear”, 
They are awful loving, 
Think no one can hear. 
Makes ’em very angry, 
When I start to laugh, 
But they’re ’fraid to touch me—
I know more than half. 

Heard him say, “I love you,” 
Heard her giggle some, 
That’s why they won’t hit me, 
’Fraid that I’d tell mum.
But she needs no telling, 
Ma is awful smart, 
Heard her say to Daddy, 
“Jim’s got daughter’s heart.” [page 64]

But I never told them
What I’ve heard Ma say, 
I’m afraid that Jim would
Stop my reg’lar pay
Quarter every week-end, 
Go to see a show, 
That’s why I won’t tell them
Little things I know. [page 65]

Someone’s Mother

SHE nursed him through his early years 
   With love and tenderness; 
She calmed his little childish fears
   With words of cheerfulness.

Time came when he was called away
   To heed ambition’s whim, 
And through her life from day to day 
   She lived in thoughts of him. 

But now she’s bent with age and care, 
   This mother that I know, 
Grim time has changed her golden hair
   Into a silver glow.

’Tis almost Christmas—in her hands
   She holds a useless toy
And dreams that by her side there stands
   A brokenhearted boy.

She lightly soothed his fevered head, 
   As only mothers can, 
“Now you must dry those tears,” she said, 
   “Coz you are mother’s man.” [page 66]

The picture fades—the tears course hot, 
   Her thoughts drift far away. 
Oh, how we hope her boy will not 
   Forget her Christmas day. [page 67]

The Visitor

ONE morning when I rubbed my eyes
   And sat up in my bed, 
A robin lit upon my sill
   And shook his tiny head.

And then he fluffed his feathers up 
   As proud as proud could be, 
Then, oh, just think! he sang a song
   A lovely song to me.

I was as thrilled as thrilled could be
   So I said: “Mr. Bird, 
Oh, thank you for the sweetest song
   I think I’ve ever heard.” 

“If you’ll just wait a moment please
   I’ll call my mother dear, 
She’s very fond of lovely tunes
   I’m sure she’d like to hear.” 

But when I turned to call to her
   I heard his sweet voice say, 
“I only came to ’waken you,” 
   And then he flew away. [page 68]

The Good Boy 

ONCE many many years ago 
   There lived a little boy
Whose Mamma always said to him
   He was her pride and joy. 

If he was asked to get some wood
   To light the stove, he’d say, 
“In course I will, dear Mother” an’ 
   He’d fetch some right away. 

He allus led the class in school
   In ev’rything he “done”, 
Gee, he was just the bestest boy
   What lived beneath the sun.

He never needed scoldin’ when 
   His Mums had company 
Becoz his hands an’ face was shined
   As clean as clean could be. 

An’ nen when he growed up real big
   He went and met my Ma;
Nen after I was borned, why he
   Turned out to be my Pa. [page 69]

“Good Fishing’’ Keep Out 

WHEN March winds usher in the spring, 
And through the waking woodlands ring
The merry songs of feathered folk
Freed once again from winter’s yoke.

I too feel glad—until I see
A thousand signs surrounding me, 
And each one reads: “Beware! Keep out!
This stream is ours, we own the trout.” 

When first I feel the friendly sun 
And know Jack Frost is on the run
A feeling up my spine does creep
And thoughts before me dance and leap. 

I see a swiftly moving stream
I cast—and then—and then my dream
Is broken by this warning shout
“We own this creek and get you out!” 

O March winds, what is that you say?
Trout season opens up in May?
O Spring why must you make me feel 
That yearning for a rod and reel? [page 70]

For well you know that soon I’ll be 
A slave to grief and misery, 
When through the land on tree and post
I’ll see this tantalizing boast: 

These grounds are private and these streams
Are stocked with monstrous speckled dreams
The finest of this fair land’s trout, 
And farther down I’ll read: “Keep Out!” [page 71]

A Pleasant Afternoon 

IF ever I could have a wish, 
   I’d sail about the sky
Upon a downy silver cloud
   Hitched to a dragon-fly.

I’d wear a lovely flowing robe
   Of red and blue and green, 
And have as guests, some afternoon, 
   The fairy king and queen.

We’d visit where the dragon-cooks
   Make flames that dragons eat, 
And smack their lips when they are through
   As if it were a treat. 

We’d call out to their leader fierce, 
   And when he looked we’d say:
“Your nose is like a carrot, sir,” 
   Then laugh and fly away. 

We’d visit where the giants live
   In castles great and tall, 
And while they slept we’d drink their tea, 
   Then, as we left, we’d call: [page 72]

“You may be big and fat and fierce, 
   With arms like apple trees, 
But if you come to fairyland 
   We’ll make you into cheese.” 

And then we’d fly back home again 
   And call the elfin band, 
And while they played, eat fairy cake—
   Oh, wouldn’t that be grand! [page 73]

Dreamin’ Days 

DREAMIN’ days are comin’ 
   Comin’ pretty soon, 
Mother Nature’s gettin’ 
   Ev’rythin’ in tune.

See the laughin’ features
   On the croonin’ sun, 
Lullabyin’ winter
   Now his days are done? 

Feel them rays of sunshine
   Wooin’ mother earth, 
Whisperin’ it’s springtime 
   Braggin’ of it’s worth?

Hear the winds a singin’ 
   Singin’ words of cheer, 
Tellin’ hibernaters
   Spring will soon be here?

See the trees a-wavin’ 
   Wavin’ to the breeze
As they start their dressin’ 
   For the birds an’ bees? [page 74]

Oh my heart’s a thumpin’ 
   As I write this rhyme
Fer I know it’s comin’ 
   Good old summer time. [page 75]

Angel Cake

ALL right for you, old angel cake, we ain’t friends any more. 
You had to go an’ make me sick; what did you do it for?
Ain’t I been always tellin’ Ma how good you are,
That all the other kind of cakes was worse’n you by far?
An’ didn’t I come down last night on purpose just for you
When Ma an’ Pa was sound asleep? You know I did, you do. 
Then after I got back in bed, you wouldn’t let me sleep, 
If you play that trick very much, no friends you’ll ever keep. 
I saw a lot of elephants an’ fierce gurillas too, 
An’ bogey mans, an’ lions — why, they scairt me through an’ through. 
An’ that ain’tall, coz when my Ma found most of you was gone, 
Well, ever since there ain’t a chair that I can sit down on. [page 76]

Bumble Bee

THE other day I was half past four
An’ I promised Dad I would cry no more
But I never knowed that a bumble bee
Would come buzzin’ along an’ light on me.

I never was bited so bad in my life, 
There’s a thing on his nose most as sharp as a knife, 
An’ it’s long as a needle an’ hurts awful bad, 
A hundred times worse than my Ma when she’s mad.

I’d rather face tigers an’ elephants too, 
There’s no kind of danger I wouldn’t go through, 
I’d rather fight giants with two eyes or three
Than be bited again by an old bumble bee. 

The place where he stinged me is still awful sore; 
You can bet I won’t fool aroun’ him any more, 
I stand up at breakfast an’ dinner an’ tea 
On ’count of a sting from that old bumble bee. [page 77]

Lullaby Time

OH, there’s elfin music drifting down the moonbeams of the night, 
Drifting sweetly with the singing of the songbirds’ distant flight
As they wing their way to dreamland through the mystic starlit skies, 
With this warning to the fairies, soon the children close their eyes. 

Oh, the sandman’s heard the signing and he’s circling o’er the beds, 
Gently kissing all the closing eyes of tiny sleepy heads, 
While the shut-eye train is waiting on the silver clouds of night
With its candy engine pointing to this dreamland of delight.

There’s a host of fairy princes on their steeds of silver gray
Sent to guard you on your journey through the heaven’s milky way. 
There’s an angel softly crooning on each laughing twinkling star 
Crooning lullabies of dreamland where the elves and fairies are. [page 78]

Now the songbirds’ task is ended and by sleepland’s golden gate
On a downy cloud of evening all the fairies watch and wait
Hark! their music coaxing, soothing, floats upon the silken air
Go, oh, go, my child, to dreamland for the fairies want you there. [page 79]

Busy Days 

NOW the questions start to come
   From the little folk: 
“Why does Santyalluswear
   Such a big red cloak?

“Where does Missus Santygo,
   Little Santys too?
When he comes to visit us
   What does them all do?

“How does him remember all
   Good ones, girls an’ boys, 
When him comes on Christmas Eve
   With his bag of toys?

“Why does him grow whiskers, mums?
   Why is they so white?” 
These—a thousand others, too—
   Come from children bright. 

Little tongues start wagging fast
   At the break o’ day 
Start and never cease until 
   Dreams snatch speech away. [page 80]

But when Santa Claus is near
   ’Tis a pleasant task,
Answering the puzzling things
   Little children ask. [page 81]

The Game of Living

TO live is not to just move on
In any kind of way, 
Contented with the sun that shines
Above you ev’ry day; 

Contented with the kind of flow’rs
That in your garden grow, 
Contented with the job you hold
And with the friends you know. 

Ah, no, if you would live, then you 
Must step along life’s path
And try to coax your chuckling sun 
Into a hearty laugh.

’Tis better far to feel each day 
That you have done your best.
That you have searched for problems new
And tackled them with zest; 

To know that when your day is done
You’ve eased a brother’s load; 
To know some one less fortunate
Walks lighter on life’s road. [page 82]

Oh, living is not moving on
All centered on yourself, 
Contented with the job you hold, 
Contented with yourself. 

’Tis helping brothers in their need
With words and actions too, 
’Tis starting off each day you live
By wanting tasks to do.

’Tis stepping out upon life’s road
With songs of hope and cheer, 
’Tis knowing when your day is done
Life will be better here. [page 83]

Pa’s Job

I’VE got a dandy collie dog, the bestest ever seen, 
An’ev’ry week he gets a bath to make him nice an’ clean. 
But he’s too big for me to wash an’ he’s too big for ma. 
An’ so the job of washin’ him is given to my pa. 
They really like him awful much, the both of them they do. 
But, Gee! you’d never think so, when that washin’ job’s in view, 
Pa picks him up an’ carries him into the cellar where 
He puts him in the laundry tub to wash his yellow hair. 

An’ then you ought to hear the noise the dog an’ Pa both make;
Sometimes I think that I can really feel the whole house sake. 
“Don’t jump around that way,” says Pa, “You’re splashin’me all up. 
Oh, how I rue the day I bought so frantic a young pup! [page 84]
Now there you go again,” he yells, “You’re crazy as a loon.” 
An’ then he calls to Ma an’ says: “We’ll sell this poor mutt son,”
But Ma just laughs when I look blue an’ says, “Don’t mind him, dear,
Becoz he’ll never sell that dog as long as I live here.” 

But soon she’s feelin’ worse than Pa, coz when the washin’ done
That dog speeds up the cellar stairs as fast as he can run.
An’ rubs against the furniture an’ ev’rything in sight
An’ stands upon the parlor rug an’ shakes with all his might, 
An’ then Ma starts to chase him ’round, as mad as she can be; 
She’s even madder than she gets when she is mad at me. 
An’ I get kinda worried like, coz she might chase him out, 
Until my Pa says, “Don’t feel bad. She won’t while I’m about.” [page 85]

On the River Bank

I STOOD upon the river bank
   The longest time to-day
And fed the river chips of wood
   It quickly took away. 

I watched it from away up high, 
   And, as it sped along, 
It seemed at times to shake its back
   And sing a happy song. 

I saw the queerest laughing elf
   Float past upon a twig, 
(Though I don’t think the river knew, 
   Coz he’s so strong and big). 

I saw a tiny little bird
   Swoop down and take a drink; 
I saw a fish make bubbles too
   (A fairy fish I think). 

I saw so many many things
   As I was sitting there, 
And once when nurse’s back was turned, 
   Guess what? I west my hair! [page 86]

And though I had such dandy fun
   I’d like to go some more, 
Because it didn’t practice once
   And that’s what I went for. 

Coz I asked daddy just last night
   A thing that puzzled me, 
How rivers managed at the times
   The tide goes out to sea. 

And he said as they flow along, 
   They practice how to leap
And when the tide goes out they jump 
   Into the water deep.

And though I watched it all the time
   It never even tried, 
I guess that it got bashful when 
   It saw me at its side. [page 87]

The Best of the Bargain

I’M glad I ain’t a girl, 
   Coz then I wouldn’t be a boy, 
An’ look at all the diff’rent things
   Us fellers can enjoy. 

There’s divin’ and there’s swimmin’ an’ 
   There’s fishin’ in the “cricks”, 
There’s cowboys an’ there’s Indians
   An’ oh! a thousand tricks. 

Why wunst when ev’ryone was out, 
   Know what I went an’ done?
I went into my daddy’s room
   Where daddy keeps his gun; 

An’ held it in my hands, I did
   An’ killed a giant, too.
Believe me now, that’s something that
   A girl could never do. 

An’ wunst I smoked my granpaw’s pipe, 
   The one with the corn outside, 
An’ though it made me sick, gee whizz, 
   A girl, she woulda died! [page 88]

An’ take my sister Grace, huh, she
   Likes playin’ with her doll, 
An’ huggin’ it an’ kissin’ it, 
   That ain’tno fun at all. 

Yes sir, I’m awful glad that I 
   Was born a boy instead
Of bein’ born a little girl
   With long hair on my head.

Of course there’s one girl that I know 
   An’ so does Grace an’ paw
I wouldn’t minded bein’ born, 
   But that girl was my maw. [page 89]

The Bravest Man on Earth

I’VE got a pa who’s awful brave. I know, becoz, you see, 
A millyun times or more he’s lifted me upon his knee
An’ told me of the fights he’d had an’ how he’d always won
An’ how he’d sneezed at elaphunts and laughed to see them run!
He told me wunst a cannibal fixed up a great big pot
An’ put some water in it, too, an’ made it boilin’ hot, 
An’ stuck my pa right in it, too, an’ then he went away
To wait fer pa to roast, I guess, but when it come next day
My pa was sitting up in there an’ playin’ his guitar
An’ singin’ loud as anything, an’smokin’ his cigar, 
An’ so the cannibal cried, “Huh! you’re far too tough to eat”,
An’ so he let my pa come home to 20 English St. 

An’ wunst when he wuz at a war the big gun wouldn’t go 
An’ all the gen’rals yelled, “Goodnight, we’re sunk; that ends the show.” 
But they fergot about my pa, an’ when he heard them yell
He said, “My friends be not afraid I’ll throw that big gun’s shell.” [page 90]

An’ so he took it in his hands an’ threw it at the foe
An’ scared the enemy so much some still are on the go. 
Yes, sir, my Pa is awful brave as brave as brave can be
But there’s one thing about my pa completely puzzles me
An’ that’s when he comes home at night an’ has a little pain
You’d think that he was dyin’ or was gonna go insane. 
He groans an’ grunts around the house an’ makes an’ awful face 
He moans to ma an’ moans to me an’ moans to sister Grace. 
An’ when at last he gets real bad, ma phones to Dr. Paul
An’ tells him that its urgent and for him to pay a call.
An’ when we hear the door-bell ring, pa screws his face up more
An’ starts to groan as loud as loud when doc. comes in the door.
An’ Dr. Paul takes off his coat an’ then goes over pa
An’ when he’s throgh he always gives a funny wink at ma, 
An’ says, “Your husband, Mrs. Wood, is far from being well
I think he’d better take his work quite easy for a spell.” 
An’ nen when pa ain’t listening, he smiles an’ shakes his head, 
An’ whispers quiet-like to ma, “A slight cold in the head.” [page 91]

They’re Never Satisfied

I SAW him as he stood in pride upon the eighteenth tee, 
His face was wreathed in happy smiles, his eyes were filled with glee, 
And as he gently placed his ball, I heard him softly say, 
“My time has come at last—at last—I’ll live my dream today.” 

He took his stance with confidence: then, with a mighty swing, 
The ball soared up and straightened out like some enchanted thing
“Good work,” I cried, “A perfect shot, the best I’ve yet seen done,
Our pro.himselfcould well be proud if he had hit that one.”

He posed a moment, then he turned. “For years and years,” said he, 
“This hole has tripped a thousand tries to break an eighty-three, 
But now at last my chance has come for, with my present score, 
I’ll have to miss five easy putts to make an eighty-four.” [page 92]

A short time later, at the club, I met him once again. 
His face was lined with rage and gloom, his eyes were filled with pain
His hair was standing up on end, his hands were clenched and tight, 
And, while I stood, in tones of doom he told me of his plight. 

“That drive—you know that drive”, he said.  “It was a perfect lie, 
And all I had to do was sink a simple little try. 
It must have been excitement for I hit the thing too hard
And though I played with caution, I went past the hole a yard. 

I drew a line upon my third and made the putt with care
And missed that hanged old cup again—just missed it by a hair!
And then I must have lost my head because I missed two more
And found myself with one putt left to make my golden score.” 

“Yes, yes,” cried I in sympathy with eyes that spoke of pain
“I know the rest, too well—to well—you missed that putt again. 
But such is life you know, old chap; you’ll have a better day
And leave that eighty-three of yours a dozen strokes away.” [page 93]

“No, no,” he cried.  “It isn’t that, I broke the eighty-three, 
But, oh, by all that’s good and kind, are you too blind to see?
If only I had paused at first and drawn a straighter line, 
I now would have a golfing score of seventy and nine!” [page 94]

Raindrops

I ALWAYS used to grumble 
   And wear an’ ugly grown
On days the skies would shudder
   And send the raindrops down, 
Until I went a strolling
   With nurse one summer’s day; 
’Twas in the lovely June time
   When all the world is gay. 

We roamed a tiny pathway, 
   That winds beside a stream, 
And other times we walked it
   ’Twas like a fairy dream.
But this time flow’rs were nodding
   As sick as sick could be, 
And never noticed nursie, 
   And never noticed me.

And nursie said “They’re dying
   Because it will not rain, 
And if it does not hurry
   ’Twill only come in vain.”
So now when it is raining, 
   I do not fret or frown, 
Instead I sing for gladness
   Because it’s coming down. [page 95]