The Confederation Poets
Alphonzo Stilletto’s Poetization
30th May 2014Posted in: The Confederation Poets 0

 [Portrait of Sir Francis Hinks]
HON. SIR FRANCIS HINKS.
Born Dec. 14th 1807
[unnumbered page]

ALPHONZO STILLETTO’S
POETIZATION
OF THE INCIPIENT STAGE OF THE
GREAT PACIFIC SCANDAL
AND OF THE CELEBRATED SPEECH OF
LORD DUFFERIN
IN REPLY TO A HEALTH TOAST AT A DINNER
GIVEN BY
THE HALIFAX CLUB.


Nom omnis moriar; multaque pars mei

                                               Vitabit Libitinam.


WITH ENGRAVINGS.
PUBLISHED BY REQUEST.
PRICE, TWENTY-FIVE CENTS.
SOLD AT ALL BOOKSTORES.
Montreal:
“WITNESS’ PRINTING HOUSE.
[unnumbered page]
[blank page]

 [illustration 
CANADIAN PACIFIC


In rage he speaks, nor further wastes his breath,
But turns his daggers to the work of death.
Pope.

Dear reader, a stranger not long in the place,
I thought in the journals, the news I would trace:
The first in my way had been named the Gazette,—
As handsome a sheet as I lately have met;
On last of fourth page, I believe you will see,
It has, for proprietors, Whites R. and T., 
Whose office is near by the corner of Craig
And St. Francois Xavier—sure as an egg. 

Unfolding, its columns, to read something new, 
The seal of the city came plainly in view:
“Concordia Salus,” in Latin I read;
Then something exciting, in English was said;
Proclaimed by the Mayor, in language not mean, 
Requesting the citizens all, to convene
Upon the old war-camp the city contained;
Because the inhabitants loudly complained,
That something was wrong with the country at large:—
Dame Rumor had said, that a serious charge 
Was made against Ministers, high in the land,
Which caused the said call, to approach a command. [unnumbered page]

The fifth day of August, at seven o’clock, 
Was specially named for the people to flock, 
To where I have mentioned. Then I perceived,
That orders were given, for none to have grieved 
The peace and propriety, while they attend
To what would be useful, their homes to defend;
And all had been signed by a friend of your bard;
A noble, good citizen, Mayor Bernard. 

When this had been read, I sat back in my chair,
And folded my arms in a silent mood there, 
And gazed at the door of the St. Lawrence Hall:
Now, one that was near me, both handsome and tall, 
Desirous of speaking as soon as I’d cease,
Was watching me closely, when reading the piece. 
Ah! what can this mean? I remarked to myself;
To this he responded: “It means that for pelf,
The men who ruled Canada sought, and would place
Our country in debt, and themselves in disgrace!”
Oh, dear me, kind sir, do you mean to tell me,
That such as you speak of, can possibly be?
“Can possibly be!” he responded again,
“Why, where in the world could you lately have been?
Has no one yet told you? nor are you informed?
Concerning discussions, that lately have warmed,
The members of Commons, since Huntingdon brought 
Grave charges before them! with wickedness fraught?
Have you never read, what appeared in the Press?—
I rather think not, or, if so, you might guess, 
And readily tell, why the Mayor proclaims,
A meeting backed up by such wonderful names.
Yes, hundreds of citizens, noble and true;
Desire to bring vampires more plainly in view,
And place a strong heel upon necks, that will crush
Their heads and their bodies quite into a mush;
And send them below! where they rightly belong;
For while they are out of it, all will go wrong!”

This spoken, the young man fell back in his chair, 
And panted for breath, a few moments, while there; [page 4]
But when the excitement had left him and gone, 
I ventured to ask him to coolly speak on,
And tell me the facts of that which had occurred;
That caused him to thus, for I had not yet heard—
Nor had I yet read, for I had not the time
To hunt the newspapers, in which so much crime. 

He then, smiling blandly, quite coolly replied:
“To give them in full, it must now be denied,
But meet me, the morrow, at ten a.m. clock,
Just where we now sit, and the whole of the stock
Of that which is writ, and has gotten about, 
Will hardly be told, ere the day has gone out,
Enquire for Alphonzo, if you should come first, 
Alphonzo Stilletto, a name never cursed;
Because of a fashion I kept in my youth,
Of always desiring to speak but the truth.”

I looked at Alphonzo, and he, then at me;
And gave him my hand and said: Glad will I be
To come, and to learn of the whole that transpired,
Which causes Canadians, thus, to have ired.
We then took a glass of cold water, of course, 
The best of all fluids, the River its source, 
And bade a good night; but to soon meet again, 
To learn of the sins of our rulers and men. 

The cock, on the morrow, had just but struck ten,
When I and Alphonzo assembled again:
Good morning Alphonzo, I see you’re on time.
“Good morning, my dear sir, the weather is prime:
Be seated, I pray you, till packages come;
The proofs I bring with me,” said he, looking glum. 
Then, each of us seized on a velvet-armed chair,
And drew to a corner, and down we sat there;
To give us more faith, we upon the five points,
Of Fellowship Masons, did limber our joints.

This finished, a servant cried; “Master, the ass
Is standing without, heavy laden en masse; [page 5]

With bundles of papers, now at your command,”
Alphonzo responding said, “Bring them to hand;”
And turning around, unto me he remarked:
“I thought I’d show proofs, and I have them embarked:
Hence, now I will give you the whole of the facts, 
E capif ad caudam however it racks
My body and mind, when I think of the things,
Concerning our Knights, and their Government rings.”

This caused me to rise, and I boldly assured;
That but a synopsis could now be endured;
I begged to excuse such a consummate pack;
Hence, they were sent home with the servant and Jack. 

Then, gently reclining myself back in my chair:
We doubtless appeared an inquisitive pair,
As he to me thus: “I suppose that you know,
To tell you the facts, I must manage them so,
That nothing offensive to truth will be heard:
Yet, how to get at what has really occurred,
Will puzzle me some; for two sides of the game,
As played, have been written and handed to fame.

And, first, I may tell you Canadians, sought
To build a great Railroad, which by them was thought,
Should run from Atlantic, their boundary East, 
And reach the Pacific, ere it should have ceased.
Of course, to do this, would require a great deal 
Of money, and lands, and give chances to steal.

Be this as it may, many rogues made advance, 
And organized companies, seeking a chance;
They pushed for the job, with their swords to the hilt, 
And each, took a name, from the Road, to be built. 
Canadian Pacific, the first one that formed;
Like Reynard with flies, it was heavily swarmed, 
With such as would suck out the last drop of blood 
From any known land, though it run like the flood. 

Soon, something went wrong, as in “Paradise Lost,” [page 6]
A rupture occurred, and it all their hopes tost:
Whatever its cause, I will yet hope to learn
But those in the ring can, at present, discern.
Then, like unto Satan, with those whom he ruled, 
There came a new body, one not to be fooled—
The leader of which, would control them below
Than rather be led, where the good people go:
And hence, it is seen, that two companies came 
To seize on poor Reynard, already their game,
Canadian Pacific, the title of one;
The Inter-Oceanic, competitor run. 

The great leading men, who expected to get
The principal slice of the work to be let, 
Were knighted Sir Hugh, a Canadian Scot,
And D. I. Macpherson, one from the same lot:
Respectively they were the presidents each;
Both, hardy and fierce, to adhere as the leach.
Each acted his part; with a desperate will 
And sought for his Road will remarkable skill;
But one must be beaten, as both could not win,
And here was the cause of the whole of the sin. 

I say that the cause of the sing began here, 
And you can see plainly how this will appear;
For, had there not been such a wonderful strife, 
Their tricks of to-day would have never had life.
They would have survived, although not as a game,
For doubtless they then had not got such a name;
Hence, what appears now as a rascally thing,
Would brightly have shown though a patriot’s ring.
Benevolent men, for the love of our Queen,
Possessed of a fortune, for which they were keen,
Would soon have been putting on nobleman’s airs!
Instead of which, now, they are needing repairs.”

Alphonzo, exhausted, had curiously rolled
His eyes in his head, as the breakfast-bell tolled,
While quickly I ran to the hydrant in force
And drew him a drink of cold water, of course: [page 7]
Which, when I presented, so closed were his teeth,
It ran out at corners of mouth and beneath
His back, next the skin, where it caused him to sigh,
And take a long breath, and right loudly to cry.

I soon got him quiet, and told him to get 
His breakfast and rest for an hour, and then yet,
To meet me again, and continue the facts
Of Romans and Britons, of Danes and of Sax.
He next made a bee line, for something to eat;
While I took a stroll, away out on the street, 
And when we returned, my chronometer told, 
That one was the hour he began to unfold
The wonderful tale, that has caused so much fuss;
And that is yet known, not a few, to nonplus.

Alphonzo had braced himself firm in his chair,
And clung to its arms, to support himself there,
Ere thus he continued: “You see, it now seems
That something was wrong, in the whole of their schemes.
To have but Canadians be in the ring,
Each had to pretend otherwise they would swing.
Macpherson declared, that Canadians should 
Build all of the road, if they possibly could. 

He made this a cause for competing with Hugh,
But he was unable to carry it through;
For when he endeavored to get up his clique,
Not quite a whole dozen had money and cheek:
Throughout the Dominion, so small was the lot,
That it was unworthy of forming a knot:
And those that were named, by one Beaty to Hincks,
Were, none of them, cradled within the precincts
Of this noble country they wished to relieve,
Of money and lands, with their mouths on their sleeve. 
These quasi Canucks, doubtless, thought the Sir Hugh?
To build such a road, were a sorrowful few!
He, hence, had recourse to the land of the Stars,
To help the slow coaches, give place to the cars. [page 8]

Now, this was the cause of the whole of the noise,
From men of both parties, and also from boys,
Which made our good Mayor, the citizens call
To meet, on the war-camp, the great and the small;
Of which you were reading, when yesterday I 
First made your acquaintance;” he then heaved a sigh;

“And where, if you’ll let me, I’d like to digress,
And note what Lord Dufferin made known through the Press;
I then will return, and continue to tell
Of each of the projects concerning the sell,”

I hence to Alphonso said, “Speak as you please;
That which you relate should make noblemen sneeze;
And, doubtless, the Governor has sure enough,
By this time got hold of a pinch of the snuff.”

“Indeed you are right,” said Alphonso to me,
“The people, disgusted, as well they might be,
Sent many petitions, and asked him to do
What they had thought best, that would carry him through,
The storm that was gathering, threatening State
With total disruption! How sad such a fate!
The noble Earl, too, had observed with some care,
If such were the end he must leave in despair!
He then having lost his Canadian berth,*
Must go to high latitudes north of this earth, 
Where he and his lady, and doubtless your bard,
Might dine with the man, who, of late, found his card. 

Be this as it may, our good Governor thought
It best to say something before the onslaught;
And hence, in reply to a health-drunken toast,
He proudly gave vent to the following boast:
First, having retuned, to the Halifax Club, 
His thanks, for receiving such excellent grub;
He thus: ‘Be there one obligation well known;
   ‘Of whose great importance I more can perceive.

 

*Salary, $50,000 and perquisites annually—double of the President of the United States. [page 9]


[illustration: LORD DUFFERIN]

Born June 21st, 1826.

[unnumbered page]

Than that of another attached to the Throne,
‘Concerning the functions, of what, I believe,
‘Must lead in my duties through sunshine and storm;
‘It is the great absolute, paramount one,
‘Of seeking to act as the Queen would perform;
‘By doing, for you, as that she would have done:
‘Maintaining, not only, an outward defence,
‘Or attitude, rather, impartial to all
‘Political parties, no matter from whence;
‘That here, as in Britain, are rolling their ball.
‘Not only, indeed, will my efforts thus be;
‘But also, still more, to preserve with great care
‘That inward more subtle, fine balance I see;
‘By which I must govern; which acts on the square:
‘That balance of sympathy, judgement and thought,
‘Which elevates him that performs for your Queen
‘As her representative. Such an one ought,
‘Above all suspicion, most nobly be seen.

‘Victoria, sovereign, has ever herself
‘A brilliant example most carefully set:
‘Hence, those of her Parliament, never for pelf,
‘Could gain, from her, favors that they should not get.
‘It makes me feel proud to possess such a guide; 
‘And I, as her viceroy, have no other aim, 
‘Nor, even ambition, than float on the tide;
‘As she would have done, will I also the same. 

‘Then follow her footsteps I certainly will;
‘As she does in England, I’ll do without fear:
‘Her Parliament, there, is the same agent still, 
‘Of which, but a model, was made for you here. 
‘Of course, gentlemen, through the year that has passed
‘The time was too brief to permit me to make
‘These sentiments known, and eject them broadcast
‘Where everyone might, of such knowledge, partake;
‘Because of the danger in heated debate,
   ‘As well as in journals, which, daily, I view,
‘Of wrongly depicting the Chief of the State—
   ‘I thus have divulged my great duties to you. [page 11]

‘The party-like strife in the country just now, 
   ‘Peculiarly lively, and animate too,
‘While tending towards a political row,
   ‘Might act in a way that it ought not to do.
‘Unauthorized reference may become rife,  
   ‘Concerning the sentiments I am supposed
‘To hold of the parties conducting the strife;
   ‘Which, once for all time, I would wish to have closed. 

‘I do not speak thus in a way of complaint,
   ‘For, if there’s a man on Canadian soil
‘That has been described as a number one saint,
   ‘That same is myself, howsoever they boil.
‘Most kindly considered by each of the Press,
   ‘Whose shades may be ranged, in the tints that are known, 
‘With every complexion, the more or the less,
   ‘Of colors that, heretofore, ever were shown.

‘They all have indulged me, and shown a good will,
   ‘And hence, it is natural, each should expect—
‘The which, by-the-by, is a compliment still—
   ‘That I look through goggles that each may select, 
‘It is complimentary, speak as you may,
   ‘When, holding their spectacles, they bid me look,
‘And, as their HIGH GOVERNOR stoop! and surveyTheir miniature visions!! through such a small nook!!!
‘I know that the organs of different shades,
   ‘From whitest to blackest opinions contain;
‘And if they expect a man, outside of Hades,
   ‘To think as they do, they no doubt are insane.

‘And, gentlemen, here, I will—once for all time—
   ‘Admonish you all, and I care not a straw
‘How widely you spread it, nor into what clime, 
   ‘For here, my remarks will be EQUAL TO LAW!!
‘Disseminate, then, if you please, what I say:
   ‘There’s no human being by me authorized
‘To make any statements, by night or by day,
‘Or even suggest as to what I have prized. [page 12]
‘Political sentiments I entertain,—
   ‘’To NO MAN ON EARTH, I repeat, have I told;
NOR IS THERE ONE LIKELY SUCH TREASURE TO GAIN,
   ‘Of all the sheep that are kept in my fold,
‘And I will say further—please mark the part well—
   ‘Not only, one never, my views will possess;
‘BUT NONE SHALL APPROACH! OR CONJECTURE!! LESS TELL!!!
   ‘THE POINTS OF THE SAME, HOWSOEVER THEY PRESS.

‘My object, as well as my anxious desire,
   ‘Both, cause me to strengthen my mind, where I can,
‘Upon every subject affecting, entire, 
   ‘The country in which I am placed in the van.
‘I sometimes discuss, and I often converse
   ‘With those who instruct or inform me that may;
‘Indeed, it would seem, that it might be much worse,
   ‘Were I to be hampered in any known way.

‘T’would be, I am sure, an unfortunate thing,
   ‘For me, if this freedom of intercourse ceased
‘With all of the classes and parties that bring
    ‘Canadian comforts, which, thus are increased:
‘From which I derive so much pleasure and good—
   ‘It would, I repeat, most unfortunate be,
‘If, lest that the Press might conjecture I could
   ‘Have, incomplete action, or were I not free.
‘My freedom, in speaking, should not be denied,
   ‘Nor trammeled by dread, lest the papers declare
‘Unfavorable comment—nor either, beside, 
   ‘Become the foundation for inference rare.

‘No, gentlemen, no! I my duty too well
   ‘Have got in my breast, to allow of my sense,
‘My judgment or sympathies, any known spell,
   ‘To be, thus surprised into partisan tents. 
‘My thoughts and desires are the welfare of all;Of Canada’s Union, of her as a whole;
‘To maintain her honour, and not let it fall, 
   ‘Promote her prosperity, body and soul. [page 13]

‘To act in the right, with her people entire,
   ‘Is all my ambition will lead me to do;
‘And which, when performed, is my highest desire,
   ‘However the Press may have placed it in view.
‘And when I converse with your great public men,
   ‘It scarcely occurs to me where they belong;
‘Reformer or Tory is, each in his pen,
   ‘To me, the same animal singing his song.

‘I would not remember their party nor creed;
   ‘I only see in them the service they do,
‘While each, for his rights, is desirous, indeed,
   ‘I act for the country, with Gentile or Jew.
‘The only great star, and the guide to my course
   ‘In conduct for holding my official views,
‘Relating to men, and concerning their course,
   ‘Is Parliament, where, I expect to find clues
‘To govern my action, in all that I do;
   ‘Receiving advice, as a matter of course,
‘From those that are given to carry me through;
   ‘Be they well assembled from any known source.

‘In fact, I suppose, that I stand quite alone
   ‘UNSHAKEN in view of its wonderful power:
‘Of all in the Canadas, I am but known,
   ‘Whose faith in its wisdom will stand like a tower!
‘INFALLIBLE PARLIAMENT! Yes indeed, TRUE!!
   ‘Each one of you, gentlemen, only believes
   ‘In Parliament while it accords to your view;
   ‘Or, during the time that your mind it relieves.

‘BUT I BELIEVE, GENTLEMEN, PARLIAMENT’S RIGHT,
   NO MATTER WHICH WAY THAT IT’S VOTES HAVE BEEN CAST,
‘Those whom IT supports, and WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT,—
    ‘To such men, alone, will I make my myself fast.
‘With those that alone I in Parliament find,
   ‘Deliberate men of confederate see,
‘Who from the Dominion to me are assigned;
   ‘In such men alone can my confidence be,
‘And whatever party they happen to head, [page 14]
   ‘Must be an indifferent matter, indeed,
‘To one with whom party will always be dead.
   ‘Your Governor-General; mark it and read.

‘As long as the Parliament gives them a place,
   ‘So long, is he bound in each one to confide;
‘Maintained in position while holding such space,
   ‘With counsels he’ll help them as onward they glide.
‘His unreserved confidence all will obtain,
   ‘And he will due deference give to advice
‘Of those who are sent him from any domain
   ‘Throughout the Dominion, hence that should suffice.
‘And when, through misfortune, or factional strife,
   ‘Vicissitudes place other men in their stead,
‘He’ll welcome successors, as long as there’s life, 
   ‘With equally open and loyal-like tread.

‘His friendships, in private, which he may have formed
   ‘He claims, as a right, to forever retain,
‘A reasonable being, he oft will have warmed
   ‘In favor of policies differently lain:
‘But such speculations are wholly abstract,
   ‘Devoid of a practical, doubtless, effect
‘Upon the relations in any way tracked,
   ‘Concerning his actions in every respect.
‘The head of the one constitutional State,
   ‘Engaged in the Administration as well,
   ‘THE GOVERNMENT, PARLIAMENT—each alike great
‘Afford him no friends but that he must repel.
‘Still less, need he have a political fiend,
   ‘For such would, undoubtedly, give him abuse;
‘Possession of either, when once in the wind,
   ‘If even suspected, would injure his use.

‘And sometimes it may be his name will be dragged 
   Within controversies, in which he will find
‘That he, by the Press, will most sorely be jagged;
   ‘Meantime discontentment may rage in his mind,
‘To have, then, a partisan Press on his trail,
   ‘Belonging to whatever side feels aggrieved, [page 15]
‘Is what in the course of events he will hail
   ‘As something, from which he cannot be relieved. 
‘He must, under such circumstances, console
   ‘Himself with reflections, that such things, as these
‘Spasmode castigations, are nought, on the whole,
   ‘But transient-like pests, howsoever they tease.

‘Innocuous, too, as the discipline plied,
   ‘At times to their idol, by ignorant ones
‘Who worship old Mumbo de Jumbo with pride;
   ‘Or, other great gods; of whom, they are the sons:
‘When harvests are sort, or a murrain doth rage,
   Destroying their flocks, and thus making them feel
‘That they are but mortals, and not over sage, 
   ‘Whom death will soon visit, not heeding appeal.
‘Now, gentlemen, I am most certain of this, 
   ‘Although he may sometimes in judgement be wrong,
Or fail in a wish, through which something may miss,
   ‘To serve you as well as he would the whole throng:
‘A Viceroy, who boldly and honestly seeks
   ‘To do his whole duty impartially here—
‘Who candidly, frankly, and openly speaks;
   ‘From none in the land will have reason to fear.

‘A Viceroy, with whom the Dominion is held
   ‘In every respect in the highest esteem, 
‘Whose honor, as dear as his own, to be felled,
   ‘Would cause a regret far too great for a dream;
‘A Viceroy, who steers in a straight even course, 
   ‘Unmoved and indifferent to pleasures or pain,
‘Between the political strifes and divorce,
   ‘CAN NEVER APPEAL TO THE to the (confidence and generosity of the Canadian) PEOPLE IN VAIN!”

“Now, do you not think, sir, that that is a speech 
That comes from a nobleman no one can reach?
That sounds of good metal, and has a clear ring?
And if he act to it, is it the right thing?
Let echo respond, sir, for I will not say
That he is in earnest—if so, he is gay. [page 16]

[illustration: L. S. HUNTINGTON]

Born May 16th, 1827.

[page 17]

More plain, nor yet louder, than that, through the land
Which lightning disposed of on every hand, 
Olympus, where Gods had once had their resort, 
Gave never a thunder, when Jove would retort. 
It tells to the people, who seek without stint, 
To cover him in with petitions and print:
That he, for their game, is too large, does it not?
That hence, they are wasting their ‘powder and shot.’

And now, to return, as I promised to you, 
To where I digressed, and continue the view:
It seems that the men who first thought of a road,
Like this in discussion, with names thus bestowed, 
Were Kerstman and Waddington, who, it is seen,
Expended much money, and for it were keen:
That once, on a time, G. McMullen was sent,
To meet in convention, at Ottawa, bent
On widening canals, and enlarging the same,
In contact with him, these two gentlemen came.

They brought to his notice, the Road to be built,
Unselfishly he ran his sword to the hilt
Deep into their plans, and examined them well, 
And promised, when home, many friends he would tell;
He lived at Chicago, a place that’s well known
For men of great parts, when there’s something to bone.

This happened in March, eighteen seventy-one;
And here is, I think, where a mischief begun;
For, on his return, young McMullen indeed,
Obtained many others, as he had agreed.
Now here, I will state, with due justice to Mac;
That he had selected as hungry a pack 
Of men, from he land where the Eagle hath screeched,
As any one man could expect to have reached:
The Smith’s, and the Browns, and the Joneses he got
In one grand assembly, where quickly they thought 
The bait was a good one. And hence, they all soon
Expected to eat from a bright silver spoon.
A few of them, then with McMullen as guide, [page 18]
Set off to New York, and they also, beside,
Advanced to the city of Brotherly Love,*
Where after six weeks, they prepared for a shove.
They next came to Ottawa, where they might be
Informally known, and to where they would see
The members of Government, whom they could show;
That they were respectable whether or no.
They only, however, then happened to meet,
With Sir John Macdonald, and also discreet
One Sir Francis Hincks, and from these they soon learned;
That they were too fast for the whom it concerned. 

Yet, after conversing and quizzing around, 
The Government wished to bring matters, they found;
So prominent men, with Canadian names, 
Might join and assist them, in all of their games;
Hence, leaving address they departed away;
With such understanding, ere many a day,
That John and Sir Francis would send them a line;
But which, for the present, these seemed to decline. 

And now it appears, but it may not be true, 
That Francis and John made a cat’s paw of Hugh;
For next it is seen, and I think it no myth, 
Advised, he sends letters to Charley M. Smith—
A colleague, this latter, who had been induced 
To join with McMullen for what might be sluiced
In on, and, to ravish their coffers, now lean,
While they would be calling out “God save the Queen!”
In those which he sent, it would seem that Sir Hugh
Had stated, distinctly, that he it was through 
Whom Government would the said union effect;
That each had been formerly led to expect.

Well; this, to be sure, was a ticklish spot, 
For soon it was learned that Sir Francis had got 
A notion to oust this McMullen one side,
For which he already with bankers had tried;
But who, to him said; that they would not go back
On any, now with them, for fear they might crack


*Philadelphia [page 19]


The shells of the eggs upon which they would set, 
And lose all the chicks they expected to get.”

When this had been spoken, an Alderman came
Up near to Alphonzo and called him by name:
“See here,” said the latter, as he raised in his chair,
“I see, by your ring, you are not on the square;
Too well I have known of the tricks of your kind,
Who cringe as they creep while they rob and they bind*
And, sir, let me hear not a word from your head!”
Or, doubtless, I’ll send you to lie with the dead!!”
This spoken, Alphonzo was clinching his knife,
Wen out ran the Counsellor saving his life 

I quietly seized hold of, and sought to assuage 
Alphonzo, and quiet his illy-timed rage:
He turned and begged pardon, for what he had done,
And said that his thoughts, ever since they had run
On acts of the scoundrels, of whom he had read
So much in the papers, had quite turned his head.
Then seeing him wild, with a gloss in the eye, 
And cheeks to be bloodless, I quickly did cry
For water, pure water—and when it was brought
I gave him a drink of it, quickly as thought. 

Now, after he rallied, he wished us to change
The room in the hall for another more strange.
He said, “It annoys me when any come near,
And give their sly glances when trying to hear.”
Soon after out dinner I answered we’ll try, 
And, doubtless, we then can obtain a supply 
Of water and seats, if we make it be known, 
That we would be private, and sit quite alone;
Meantime, do you tell, ere the dinner bell rings, 
Still further concerning these rascally things.

“Then listen, dear sir, give attention to me;”
Alphonzo replied, “and hence thus it will be:
It seems that Sir Hugh, as already I’ve said,
Was placed in the foreground, and foolishly led


*With taxes [page 20]


[unnumbered page, includes illustration: SIR HUGH ALLEN.]

To make correspondence in such a queer way
That Government might have its something to say;
That is, please remember, while nothing went wrong;
Or, that it might not have a part in the song
If anything happened like what has occurred;
Hence, thus, it could dodge any charges preferred.

Sir Hugh, I believe, was the Government’s man;
Although, he denies it as much as he can;
His action, however, speaks louder than word,
And hence, to say otherwise is so absurd. 
One head, of the Government, George, the late Sir
Whose body from state they did sadly inter,
Was, doubtless, a man of who much might be said;
But I will refrain from disturbing the dead.

 I need hardly tell what a pity it is
That George has departed, however you quiz;
And hence I’ll not mention concerning the fact:
That Cartier for money gave Hugh the contract—
Which gold was obtained, by the spear of oldMars,
From men in the land overruled by the stars, 
In order to heal the great injuries done
By knighted Sir Hugh, in the battle begun. 
And which, when collected, and paid out again
Among the arch rascals—political men—
Had not the effect they intended it should,
For Cartier went over, by all that was good!

Nor will I affirm, for perhaps it’s not true,
Two contracts were drawn between George and Sir Hugh
The thirtieth day of July, that were signed—
The one to be used, and the other a blind.
Sealed August the sixth, eighteen seventy-two, 
With much queer conniving and wire-pulling through
The whole of the troupe, which the job was upon, 
Not even excepting the Premier, John. 

These things, I had reckoned, because that Sir George,
Was since settled down, where he cannot disgorge, [page 22]
Ought not to be mentioned, and hence, I pass on, 
And leave him in peace, while I speak of Sir John, 
And other great men, that will each have his name
Disclosed, to describe how he tackled the game. 

Sir John Alexander Macdonald has been 
A longer time serving than our, noble, good Queen
Than many who now are in Parliament used
To keep the Canadians from being abused. 
And as he, meantime, has our Premier grown, 
We’ll trace him from when he had first become known. 

In eighteen fifteen, in the year of the peace
Of last of our wars, there was then an increase
Near Frontenac Fort, which is Kingston now called:
On January eleventh his mortal first squalled.
Some say that in Paisley, one jolly fine morn, 
Near looms of his father the youngster was born.
And many have said, which perhaps is not true,
That even at birth he quite darkened his hue
Because, that he could not just have his own way;
But doctor and nurse, when together they lay 
Themselves for a struggle, they frequently win;
Hence he, as a babe, had to bear them and grin.

They conquered, and laved, and dressed him, in fine;
And did, what was best for the youth, I opine;
They left him in the care of his parents, all right;
Yet never, thereafter, did John become white. 
Since, nothing was heard any more of the boy;
Till, when they would wean him he sought to annoy.
Of course, he was cross, and as other ones would,
He tried to get hold of such things as he could:
Whatever he saw, he would pull with great force.
To gum it, or bite, like a baby, of course;
And as they would keep him from every queer thing,
His mother once bought him a fine rubber ring,
And this, on a ribbon, put round the lad’s neck;
Which, doubtless, a time kept the urchin in check. 

As Johnny grew older, he being in luck, [page 23]
She bought him a chair on account of his pluck;
For, he had demanded, as youngsters but can,
To sit at the table and eat like a man. 
From, since he was born, until three years of age, 
Young John was obeyed, or he’d fall in a rage:
And thence, to the time of his going to school,
It has been well known, he was nobody’s fool.
For music, he had a most wonderful ear, 
Which made him, to young folks, remarkably dear:
Among the great instruments mastered by him
The fiddle ranked first, on the which, if in trim,
But few were his equals, in drawing the bow;
Wherever he went he enchanted them so;
That no apple pearing. nor dance could get on, 
Without the real presence of Jolly Young John. 

If more you would know, of this lad as he grew,
Just purchase a book on the Parliament few,
By Henry J. Morgan, a lawyer installed:
‘Canadian Companion’ the book has been called. 
‘T’was printed by Lovell, and now is for sale
At Dawson’s, St. James, and to buy it don’t fail:
That is, if you have a gold dollar to spare,
And many a pedigree you will see there;
Providing, their ancestors had been alive
Since Julius Cӕsar in Britain did thrive;
Through whom, it is said, not a few of them trace
Their origin, up to the Numian race:
While others, there written, can only fall back 
To Heptarchal times, after which is a crack 
In family matters, where all appears lost:
With Scots, or the Picts, or the Saxons they’re tost. 

And some, the book tells us as, plain as is mud;
That none, of their parents, were clearly in bud
Till eight twenty-seven, when England was joined 
In one common country, that Egbert purloined;

From which, to the time that the Bastard was King,
Not one can be traced up to any known thing.
But then, and thereafter, when he did advance [page 24]

[illustration: SIR JOHN A. MACDONALD.]

Born Jany. 11th, 1815.

[page 25]

To England, from Normandy, north part of France, 
It seems, that a nest of these great noble men (?)
Prepared to be fathers of those whom we ken
To be present leaders; whose tricks also too,
Like those of posterity, carried them through.
Alas! no improvement, this side of the Styx,
From those who were fighting in ten sixty-six;
The blood of the fathers still rapidly runs
Through veins of their children, now ignoble sons;
Whose pride, without doubt, far exceeds that of sires
Whom, had they known better, they might have called liars
For telling; that Browns, and the Joneses and Smiths,
Were also their offspring, a pack of known myths. 

Be this as it may be, if you would know all
The pedigrees written, give Dawson a call;
And launch out a dollar, to purchase the book, 
It helps the digestion of those that will look. 
In it will be found, that our hero, young John, 
Surmounted obstructions and marched himself on,
From gallantry, dancing an violin airs
To that of our Premier, heeding no cares. 

You there, will perceive how that ere he got through, 
He pulled many wires, and he, like the Sir Hugh, 
Impressed our good Queen with so much of delight, 
That she was well pleased to make John, a Sir Knight.
And now, having come to his zenith of fame, 
Sir John was much loved, for he had a good name. 
He magnetized all wheresoever his head,
While Tories like lambs to the slaughter he led;
Reformers, as sheep, he had also bled too,
The lot were disposed of, with little adieu. 

If you would observe his exploit of the day. 
Examine reports of the Parliament’s lay;
And there, you will see, how this limb of the law
Would make of our people a single cat’s paw
To draw, for young Sam, the hot nuts from the fire—
Alas! ere he do so, the times shall be dire. [page 26]
Ere that shall the blood of the Saxon and Celt, 
The Dane and the Norman be everywhere smelt;
Already the Goddess, with dagger in hand, 
Determines, these rascals, to boldly withstand:
And, though it be sheathed, and is lightly but touched,

[illustration]

In anger it yet may more tightly be clutched, 
And then, to the vampires, a blow will be struck
To send them below, far away from their luck. 
To show that these wars are not far from our view;
We only need prove that a Government few
Would sell to Americans what they should keep
Within their own fold for Canadian sheep. 

And here, I may tell you, that Sir John is in luck
Because of the death of Sir George, through whose pluck,
The pivot of action was only himself—
‘T’was HE that sold all for an ignoble pelf! (?)
But as to the terms, not a mortal will know, 
For dead men are quiet with friend or with foe;
Hence George will remain with his secrets interred,
And never respond to the charges preferred.
Now, that being so, they might possibly fall,
If so, the more luck for the noblemen all;
Unless, a plain proof, from a some unknown source
Should suddenly sow with remarkable force. [page 28]

That this can be so, there appears to be doubt,
If Royal Commissions known that they’re about. 
For, thus; it is hinted, the Government man
Will smother the whole, if he possibly can;
Hence, if one be chosen, of whatever stuff, 
It may not outvalue a pinch of good snuff;
Because that our people, throughout the whole land
Object to intrusions, that on the will brand
Tyrannical power, from any known source;
The which, to repulse, they will rally in force,
And, through representatives, shall have advised
Concerning their liberties, MORE TO BE PRIZED
THAN ELSE UPON EARTH; and to which are allied
The hopes of their children, in whom, is their pride.

Whence, to the great meeting to be on the camp, 
As called by the Mayor, many thousands will tramp;
And there they will hear of the pros and the cons
Concerning transactions of Hugh’s and Sir John’s.
And there you will doubtless hear reasons set forth 
By men that have come from the South and the North,
The East and the West, with a noble intent, 
Demanding, that scoundrels, with Charon be sent;
Their sonorous voices will ring in the breeze,
That gently blows over the camp and its trees. 
Reformer and Tory will each play his part
In loudly denouncing the sins of the mart
Where men have been purchased through wicked device—
Alas! it’s too true, every man has his price.”

This spoken, Alphonzo fell back in his chair, 
The face became pallid, and vacant his stare;
I thought, for a time, he would surely have died,
And shouted for water—not leaving his side;
But ere I could wet him the dinner bell rung,
And, sounding melodiously, loosened his tongue.
Before he would leave me, however, he turned
And said to me: “Stranger, my bowels have yearned
To tell you much more, but at present my nerve 
Will never permit it, and hence, I reserve [page 28]
The balance till after the meeting has passed;
Meantime I will study their acts to the last;
And then, through the post, if you can be addressed, 
I’ll give Information concerning the rest.”

I thanked, while I raised him, and had him conveyed
To where a good dinner will soon have allayed 
His sensitive nerves, after which a soft bed
Was promised by Geriken, Christian name, “Fred.”
When he is refreshed, and thinks proper again
To speak of the virtues of ignoble men,
Or others with whom the Sir John or Sir Hugh 
Have acted, I’ll write and disclose them to you. 
Till then, my dear reader, please show them your eye
Observe them yourself—for the present, “good-bye.”

ARION

 [illustration]

Errata

      Page 4, read, “Huntington,” not Huntingdon. Page 6, line 13, read “Then gently reseating myself in my chair.” Page 16, “to the” should not be repeated in the last line of Lord Dufferin’s speech. [page 29]

[blank page]

[illustration: G. W. MCMULLEN, ESQ.]

Born 1845.

[unnumbered page]

 [illustration: CANADIAN-PACIFIC]

 [illustration: INTER-OCEANIC]

 [illustration: THE NEW ROUTE]

[unnumbered page]

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